Daily Times

We live in an Islamic state where the clergy views women one-dimensionally and does its best to make them invisible. They tell us that virtuous women stay at home 24/7/365 and step out only in matters of life and death and then too, they must be accompanied by a mehram male and covered head to foot, with only one eye showing.

Ranking number one in pornography addiction, our men have created an environment where every woman experiences harassment.

Male behaviour is out of control as they have found a religious immunity to act on their baser instincts with no need for self-regulation. In their myopia, the men think that they have established dominance and it delights them.

The fact of the matter is that men are born of women, men live with women and men are responsible for women. When women are subverted, infantilised and denied a voice and visibility in public, the mothers, wives and daughters become burdens instead of being assets for men.

Women are subverted by men and abused by fellow women. In the homes where they practically live under house arrest, women vent their frustrations on other women. Mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law and sisters-in-law hold each other in contempt and feel a deep mutual hatred. Psychology teaches us that when humans feel oppressed and helpless, they learn to shift blame onto a convenient target and feel intense hatred for them.

When there is a deep mistrust and hatred between women, husbands, fathers, brothers and sons suffer the consequences in myriads of ways.

Being a pragmatic businesswoman, a wise lady and a woman of learning, Hazrat Khadija was the greatest asset to her husband.

Infantilised women who are completely denied agency, cannot act mature, rational and cooperative. Their emotional regulation skills are poor. They are additionally unable to think methodically and fairly. Their thoughts come from a place of desolation. This is the reason Pakistani women are filled with resentment and always look for targets to displace their inner angst. Newly-married women try hard to make their husbands resent their mother and sisters, as striking other women down is their greatest power move.

Subverted women are the reason why we have an obsession with the supernatural. Pakistanis display paranoia about black magic spells and the evil eye. Since the state of women is the same across the Islamic world, this phenomenon is found in all Muslim countries.

In the Netherlands, clinical practice and studies conducted on Muslim men have shown that Muslim patients are inclined to attribute all problems in life, including mental health problems, to the Jinn.

Educated women do not seek a medical solution but instead jump to supernatural conclusions and seek spiritual help when faced with any health issues.

Women have no understanding of emotional, verbal and financial abuse perpetrated by toxic fathers, husbands and brothers. The women’s one-dimensional mind only thinks of a female relative to blame when they actually need a mental health professional and a lawyer.

A perennial favourite among women is lamenting that persistent financial issues are due to black magic. The rational approach for the bread-winning man is to improve his professional skills. Self-improvement initiatives and learning interpersonal skills can greatly boost a man’s earning ability. The women instead steer their men towards a black magic cure.

Pakistani women exhibit learned helplessness. Legal, professional and official avenues are the exclusive domain of men.

One woman’s husband lived overseas and he did not disclose to her his legal, marital and employment status abroad. This educated woman was clueless about approaching the immigration department, the relevant foreign embassy and NADRA for fact-finding. She was living in misery, bitterness and hatred; lying to herself that black magic arranged by her mother-in-law is the cause of her issues. She was unable to help her five-year-old son or herself due to learned helplessness, which is instilled in Pakistani women since birth.

Due to learned helplessness, arising out of being house-bound and living an infantile state of existence with no agency, women are unable to find solutions to their issues. They act irrationally, shift blame, feel resentful and harbour suspicions towards other women of witchcraft etc-developing negative personality traits.

Mother Khadija (RA) is the best example of how a Muslim woman should be. When the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) encountered Jibrael (AS) for the first time, the latter appeared in his angelic form with 700 wings. The sight scared our beloved prophet who ran home to our mother Khadija and expressed fear due to this supernatural encounter.

Mother Khadija spoke wisely when she said: “Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.”

This boosted the morale of the Prophet and calmed him down. Mother Khadija did not stop at moral support. She took her husband to her cousin, Waraqa bin Nawfil, who was a Christian scholar. He validated her stance with his knowledge of the Abrahamic scripture.

Being a pragmatic businesswoman, a wise lady and a woman of learning, she was the greatest asset to her husband. As opposed to this, our women, if faced with a similar situation, would cry and lament their husbands’ misfortune; speculate about a culprit and express the need for a raqi. Their response would greatly add to the husband’s worries.

The latest research on the human brain shows that our brain rewires itself to suit the information we feed into it. Constant complaining, gossiping and finding excuses, make it easy to find things to be upset about, regardless of an actually positive environment. Likewise, if humans search for opportunities, abundance, love and things to be grateful for, it makes it easier to find the reflection of such things around. It takes consistent practice but it is a very powerful way to reshape reality.

The Prophet (PBUH) was good to his relatives, helped the needy, supported the weak, fed the guest and answered the call of those in distress because our Mother Khadija was virtuous and noble and supported him in these endeavours.

Our women cause their husbands to resent their own mothers, evade hospitality and ignore the ones in need. They view life as a zero-sum game. Anything their husband, father or son does for others, is viewed as a loss. Their wives’ negative influence makes the men withhold acts of kindness. They cut the ties of kinship, become miserly and self-absorbed showing a callous disregard for relatives, friends, neighbours and acquaintances. The men are thus not only deprived of spiritual blessings but also familial/communal support and backing. Their lives are filled with stress and they feel helpless.

Such mothers cannot teach their sons noble conduct. They raise a generation operating on moral low ground.

This is how Muslim men become victims of their own oppression (of women).

The writer is an independent researcher, author and columnist. She can be reached at aliya1924@gmail.com.