Daily Times

Dear Mathira & Rose,

My nikah took place three years ago to a cousin of mine but the rukhsati hasn’t taken place as yet. We have not developed any sort of understanding as yet neither does he talk to me. He’s out of the picture for four to five months and doesn’t show any concern towards me whatsoever. I’m very upset. Please tell me what to do. He’s six years older to me and not that qualified or rich to begin with.

Regards,

Gloomy Bride

Mathira’s Advice:

I think education and qualification becomes secondary when a person isn’t even interested in you. You really risked yourself into marrying him because this isn’t an exam, it’s life. Even now, Allah is showing you signs so you should be thankful. Normally, these signs come to light when a woman bears a child and it’s too late. Allah is lighting your path through these signs. He just doesn’t care. Marriage is all about understanding, respect, love and care. If these things aren’t there, then the marriage is useless no matter how rich or qualified the man is. There are educated illiterates too so just back off now and I promise there’s someone better for you out there.

If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira

Rose’s Advice:

If your rukhsati hasn’t happened as yet and the guy’s on ghost mode, I think you can make your parents sit down and know about all this. The point of nikah is that you both get to know each other and become mehrams for one another. You can talk to each other without your families having a problem with it. However, if the guy is on ghost mode and doesn’t show any concern, neither he’s expressing any care for you then this is a red flag. I’m not going to burn him for being six years older to you or not being qualified or rich to begin with as that’s not a flaw. What’s problematic is him being out of picture for four to five months, which I repeat is a red flag.

If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777