Daily Times

Dear Mathira and Rose

I’m a happily married man and have two children. I love my wife and everything’s great. The background is that I used to be in love with my colleague but never found the courage to tell her as she belonged to a very rich family. I always suppressed my emotions as I knew she’ll turn me down, despite being best friends. So I got married and settled now. We still work together and recently, she broke up with her boyfriend and is sad all the time. I am tired of seeing men treat her wrong when I know had I been with her, I would’ve made her so happy. I see her these days and filled with regret over why I never confessed my feelings to her. I love her still. What shall I do?

Regards,

Friend-Zoned

Mathira’s Advice:

Since you’re married and have a wife, I believe you should focus on that. My advice is stop seeing this person as a friend also because if you continue to do so, your marriage will be at stake. Do you really want to do that? She’s an adult and can look after herself. Adults don’t need babysitters, please. If you were in love with her and didn’t tell her, then it’s your fault. It’s not your wife’s fault. Focus on what you have right now. This is human nature. We never appreciate what we have on our plate and spend our time staring at the other person’s plate or the spread on the next table. We forget that we also have something on our own plate. If you kept reminding yourself how much you loved your colleague, you’ll only water those seeds in your brain. You need to avoid her for some time. It’s like I said, she’s an adult and adults do get hurt in relationships. You’re not responsible for that. If she’s going through any trauma, it’s okay. Please focus on your life and sort your issues out. My advice is to stay away from her until your feelings die down. It can also be that you’re not in love with her and are confused and might end up destroying two women’s lives owing to your confusion.

If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira

Rose’s Advice:

You have to know that all of this should be a thing of the past because your present is that you’re married with two kids. If you do confess your feelings for this woman now, she’ll obviously want more and in the process, you’ll end up destroying your home which will ultimately end with your children suffering. To start with, yes, you should’ve confessed your love for her before, despite the difference in both your statuses. However, I feel everything happens for the better. I think both of you just weren’t meant to be. Confessing your feelings now will just invite trouble for everyone involved. You just have to make peace with the fact that she’s your best friend and very much there. Just because you love someone dearly doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life with them. Right now, you have a family and you need to have their back. That’s what I need you to understand. Be happy for what you have. Don’t side line your family because of your feelings for her. The well-being of your wife and kids should be your #1 priority. You can’t push them aside for a woman you loved but never told her that.

If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777