Daily Times

DISCLAIMER: The following article is a work of satire

Believe it or not, this is the season of “Molanas”. The Holy Lads all around. Last week it was Molana Kokab Okarvi who stole all the lime light by publically provoking people to kill poor Hamza A Tulsi for a crime you all know very well and this week it is none other than Molana abdul Qavi who finally has his wish fulfilled by meeting and proposing our Lady of Qandeel Baloch! Ah! It seems something like “Love in the time of Molana”, a perfect breaking news for the media. What a treat for the masses! I will certainly talk about it in more detail but let us deal with some serious stuff first.

Already, much has been written and even lot has been said about the ban on Hamza Ali Abbasi’s Ramzan transmission. But one thing that deserves to be shed light on is the sheer indifferent attitude or noncompliance shown by PEMRA on the requests of a great many people to lift the ban. People expressed their opinions on the issue openly. Some supported the ban while others campaigned for lifting it. Reportedly, those who thought that among the many insane Iftaar transmissions the one hosted by Mr Abbasi was meaningful and it raised some pertinent questions on the issues that have become taboos in our society far outnumbered the ones who supported to put a ban on the host of the transmission.

PEMRA really needs to come clear on the matter. It is a public institution established for the common good and not to appease few ultra-conservative religious goons. If somebody had to be banned at all, it should not have been the one who asked a question in the most respectful way and sought answer from religious scholars but the one who provoked public to murder someone publicly.

Molana Kokab Noorani should never again be allowed to show up on any TV channel. The least PEMRA can do is to ban him for life time. Increasing religious extremism, lack of tolerance and shrinking space for listening to others point of view are the characteristics now very much rooted into Pakistani society. Mr Jinnah must be feeling lucky up in the heavens for not living in the Pakistan of today. Imagine, had he been healthy and very much alive today, what would have the likes of Molana Kokab done to him?

Meanwhile, the video of the meeting between one Qandeel Baloch and Molana Qavi has gone viral. According to Molana he went to see Qandeel B if she was keeping her fasts regularly and observing the holy month of Ramazan in a befitting manner. Seemingly, the meeting happened in the grand room of a five star hotel between the two so that Molana could give her a “tawiz” or two to avoid Kala Jadoo as she thinks that she is being “black magic(ed)” by some unknown jealous rivals in the industry. When Molana found out the she was not covering her head with a chadaar, he instantly put his Jinnah Cap on Qandeel B’s head. I am sure Molana must have threatened to beat her “lightly” if she again left her head uncovered. Molana told the naïve girl that it was against the teachings of the religion and good girls should cover their heads all the time.

The meeting ended with a “selfi” note. Qandeel B thanked Molana for dropping by and wishing her good luck for her future endeavours. Later in the day, she announced on her official Face book page that Molana’s visit had been a good omen for her career as she has been offered $10 billion for her debut in a movie! She was very excited about the offer as she will be the first Pakistani to portray Pakistan’s softer image to such an extent. However, till the writing of these lines she has not decided on it yet. Meanwhile, in an otherwise unusual development Molana has proposed her on TV. One must say, tough choice for an innocent soul like Qandeel B to choose among Big Boss Season 10, movie debut and Molana Qavi.