Daily Times

As they say about the earth; the deeper you dig, the better the riches you shall find. Similarly, in the sphere of boldness Qandeel Baloch lies inside the core. Surpassing the sensations like Meera and Waqar Zaka, QB (not to be confused with Quratulain Baloch) amassed thousands of fans outside Pakistan.

The QB trend started right after the divorce of Imran Khan when the world saw that Imran Khan was no more committed and it was the perfect moment for unmarried girls to strike and strive to fill in the space. At that moment QB along with her seducing accent and intrepid attire stormed the Facebook, expressing her strong wish to get married to IK. (IK’s dream of making Pakistan a new one couldn’t come up with anything that worse).

Her videos attracted the audience just like the angels repel Taher Shah. As the time passed, her videos got more and more explicit. From drinking tea and putting on an eye liner to getting a tattoo on her body, QB always used to ask her fans for suggestions and advices (which were always the honest one asking her to please die and do a last favour on this mankind).

The interesting thing about her Facebook page was that one could never anticipate what was about to come from her side. It could be anything to rip the innocent’s heart apart. She could ask you to join her in eating ‘gol gappas’ and at the other instance she was seeing complaining government (because the politician’s aren’t handsome enough for her to offer a date. She loves Imran khan and Afridi at the same time. Nonetheless she always tried to show the tattoo engraved on her artificially enlarged chest. She is a ‘shareef desi’ girl who only lays her hands upon the handsome ones). This quality of hers never made her fans feel bored in other words we can stay alive for a while.

The time came when cricket fever had caught everybody in its grasp; the T20 cricket world cup. Everybody supported their country by attaching the flag of their respective countries with their pictures on Facebook. But QB went not one but a lot of steps ahead and showed support for Pakistan by dancing in a bikini matching Pakistan’s flag colours. Yes Yes!!! You heard it right; A BIKINI. But for her it wasn’t enough she went on saying that if Pakistan wins the cricket match against India, she would even do more than this. After all her bikini had at least green in it; the flag’s colour. Have you seen any patriotic like that before? We all know what she meant. I guess in case of winning, she was about to get more natural and consequently raw. Pakistan lost the match and that surely disappointed her fans (so called singles like Innocent Princes and Cute Angels that are ditched by their GF’s in case they really had one) too. But her bikini video caused uproar and Facebook eventually removed her page making her ferocious. Facebook knew her videos will make men weak. She protested as if Facebook was owned by Maulana Akhtar or Maulvi Shakoor and not Mark Zuckerberg.

Nowadays she is seen on mainstream television giving mullahs the hard time over the dos and don’ts. Indeed she is a nut one shouldn’t try to crack!!! (Who knows she might leak just like a coconut when you try to crack it open). I am sure she would be coming after me whenever she is going to read this. Sssshhhhh! She spares no one.

DISCLAIMER: The article is a work of satire