Daily Times

During the month of fasting most Pakistanis become totally consumed by ritual semi-starvation and the surrounding religious and dietary requirements. That, of course, also means that by midday most people in offices and shops are starting to lose their cool in more ways than one. And the way people start driving as the time to eat approaches is indeed frightening. As far as newspapers and TV are concerned the latest new restaurant and the newest food recipes take up prominent space. However, these elaborate stories about food and foodies testing and toasting new eateries leave me unmoved. When the religious duty of fasting becomes more about trendy eating-places and seemingly delectable menus then the purpose of the entire exercise seems to be misplaced.

It would seem after going through the Sunday magazine of this newspaper that lawn is the most important part of a modern Pakistani woman’s life during the summer months. The month of fasting included and long hours of fasting, notwithstanding. It would seem that every famous female now has a “show” for a lawn usually named after her. Personally, I have no idea what lawn is; perhaps, it is what I knew in my younger days as malmal (muslin), but I have a strong suspicion that I am wrong on this one. After all in spite of my relatively advanced years I still have no idea what taffeta might be.

There is evidently a new fashion thing that I came across that caught me completely off guard. The other day I noticed a young lady with her shalwar (baggy trousers) hitched up in a funny way, sort of like that of a devout Muslim male on his way to the mosque. I discretely enquired from my wife about this situation, of course, not wanting to give her the impression that I go around during the holy month examining wandering female ankles. She was amused and told me that what I saw was a “reverse” shalwar. I don’t know about that. What I was reminded of when I saw that reverse shalwar were the horror stories I heard as a child about women with feet that were turned backwards. All untrue, of course, but frightening nevertheless.

So what else is there to write about? Mangoes, the heat and load-shedding have been discussed in detail in previous articles, and talking of them would be repetitious indeed. Also, I have already written a “scholarly” article on the mysterious affair of the prime minister’s (PM) open heart surgery. About that I will just add one thing. Why have we not heard from the PM now that he is well enough to receive royalty and such? Perhaps a two-minute video where the PM would thank all of us the people of Pakistan for our prayers, and for our good wishes would be in order. For me the PM’s silence is becoming a trifle worrisome. Not only am I am worried about the PM and his health, but I am also worried about the motley crew that is running the country in his name. What if they keep on running things even after the PM returns to the land of the pure? A frightening thought indeed.

I could write a bit more about things like a possible power vacuum, or the fact that Pakistan doesn’t really need a PM to keep it on its path to perdition, or wherever it is that Pakistan is headed. But people a lot better connected and informed than me have already blackened many newspaper pages and expounded for countless hours on TV shows about such things. The only thing I can say about the present political situation is that as unfortunate as it might seem, all the possible alternatives are equally undesirable. I still strongly feel that nothing of importance concerning the present political setup is going to happen until the weather gets cooler. But then I have been wrong before and I could be wrong again.

Other than the unfortunate terrorist attacks in Turkey and elsewhere the one thing that is making headlines is Brexit. If Britain leaves the European Union the world will not come to an end. There are some who do think that after this decision the “Great” Britain will inevitably transform into a “little” Britain. Personally, I am quite sure that the rest of the world will easily adjust to what has happened. After all the British Empire disappeared and the world probably was better off for it. But the Brexit situation does prove that “leaders” are often not quite as smart as they think they are. David Cameron, the present British PM, proved to be too smart for his own good, and called an unnecessary referendum that destroyed his political career. And that also after winning a stunning victory just a year ago. Perhaps he is a good object lesson for our PM that less is more. That might be why our PM is keeping mum, and perhaps plans to stay mum for a while.

The political situation in the land of the free is also quite boring. The only interesting questions are whether Bernie Sanders will ever stop running for president, and if Donald Trump will concede defeat if he loses the general election. My personal opinion about Sanders is that he and his followers are waiting for heaven to “smite” his opponent, part the seas and open up a path to victory. The expected smite is supposed to come from the FBI in the shape of an indictment of Hillary Clinton. Interestingly, that is also what Trump’s supporters are waiting for. This has been a strange election, and if Trump really wants to win in November he might ask Sanders to be his running mate and Sanders just might accept. After all, both of them want one thing more than anything else. That is the defeat of Hillary Clinton in the general election.

The author is a former editor of the Journal of Association of Pakistani descent Physicians of North America (APPNA)