Ramazan diaries: women versus men?

Author: Madiha Akhtar

RamaZan is a month where the Muslim community fasts from dawn to dusk with an aim to celebrate countless blessings by the Almighty Allah. A few days ago before the rainstorm that hit the country, I was having a discussion with my friends about how the hot weather had made fasting difficult for people at large during Ramadan in Pakistan.

Suddenly out of the blue, one of my male friends said, “How easy it is for women to fast as women don’t have to offer tarawih (special Ramadan prayer) in this hot weather.”

To support his statement, my other male friend also jumped in and added, “How convenient fasting is for women as they don’t have to go to a mosque to perform dhuhr (noon) prayer in this scorching heat.”

My question to all those men who have these views is that just because women do not go for tarawih or Friday prayer in the hot weather, do they think fasting is undemanding for women? How easy it is for men to pass these comments without even realising that fasting itself is a difficult process regardless whether you are a man or a woman. How do they forget about those women who toil in the kitchen to satiate the hunger of the male members of the family? Do they really think that only because women don’t have to go to a mosque for tarawih or Friday prayer fasting is easy for them?

Society, everybody around us, you and me, we all say and do many things instinctively, because we feel they are the right things to do. That is natural. But let me give an eye-opener to all those men who think that it is easy to fast being a woman.

Many women are the first ones in the house to wake up at the time of sehri to prepare predawn meals for everyone in the house. Later, they wake up everyone else, including men of the house, and what do they do? Come to the table, eat their food and go back to sleep. However, these women not only have to have their sehri meal, but they also have the duty to wash all the dishes and tidy up before leaving the kitchen.

Afterwards, while fasting the whole day women make lunch for their children in this hot weather. That is not all. Women start preparing for iftar in the early hours of the evening for their family. As per our tradition to have variety of dishes at the iftar table, women are required to cook various scrumptious dishes in this sweltering weather. Following iftar, men usually rest, but women get busy in making tea, along with washing the dishes. In all their busy routine they also perform the obligatory duties. Considering the routine, how do men think that it’s easy for women?

As far as the other matter is concerned, I would like to add that Muslim women can pray at mosques, but proper arrangements need to be made. However, there is no real tradition of women going to mosques in Pakistan. Most of the mosques do not have a separate area for women, and hence special arrangements are made for women to offer their tarawih prayer, but women offering tarawih in mosques is still a rare sight in our country. Moreover, most women do not have an easy access to mosques that have a separate section for women because of the commuting issues.

Other Islamic countries like in the Middle East have separate portions for women in mosques, and that is not just limited to Ramadan; women are permitted to pray in the mosque at any time they want. Last year, I had an opportunity to spend my Ramadan in Abu Dhabi. I never thought that I would offer tarawih in a mosque, but not only for that, the mosque was also opened for women to pray on other Lailatul Qadar nights. Women would come alone or in groups to the mosque after midnight without any fear.

Having said that, it is important to realise that fasting is a month of endurance, and whether man or woman, everybody has to go through the same stuff. Though Islam has clearly defined the status of women but women are still subjugated in a conservative society like that of Pakistan. It is perfectly fine for people to have different opinions, but maybe we could refrain from telling others, all the time, how they should be.

The writer is a freelance columnist and a blogger. She is a former field reporter, and is currently working as a content writer at a public relations agency. She blogs at writerlogophile.wordpress.com, and can be reached on twitter at @mistful83

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