Daily Times

Imagine waking up most days ignorant of your own identity, mental stress drowning you in infinite
spirals of darkness and zoning out in the middle of conversations. This scenario may not be a
normal happening in life of a normal person but yes, that’s what most people with personality
disorder experience every day.

The mind of a person with symptoms of personality disorder works entirely differently than the
mind of an average person. He or she thinks, feels and perceives things in a totally different
dimension than that of a normal human being. In this perspective, most common symptoms include
erratic mood swings and changes, unhealthy behavior, self-injury and suicidal thoughts. Though
these personality disorders are common in our society, but somehow they remain in-cognitive and
less talked about stratums of our discussions. This ultimately leads to lack of knowledge in their
understandings and thus result in various misconceptions regarding personality disorders: While
studying response of our society towards people bearing such behavior, instead of lending them
empathy, we don’t waste a second in labeling them as self-obsessed. On the contrary, they are
caring and loving, but due to some special symptoms, are unable to express their love.

Another school of thought entails that personality disorder patients are stubborn as a mule and their
stubborn bolt is not going to come lose anytime soon! Whereas in reality they really want to change
themselves, and all what they just need is someone to rely on!

“Personality has power to uplift, power to depress, power to curse, and power to bless.” (Paul P.
Harris)

While talking about the issues on psychiatric disorders, Dr. Ahmed Siddique narrated a really
interesting story. He was in his final year in MBBS and the degree requisites included an internship
in a psychiatric hospital. Once the president (at that time was Field Marshal Ayyub Khan) came
on a round to visit the clinic. One particular patient, with personality disorder, a voluminous beard,
long messy hair, overall looking like what most people would say a really dangerous person, kept
eying the president. The president finally came over and asked him: “So lad how are you?”. The
patient looked at the president from top to bottom, raised his eyebrows, and asked: “Who are you?”.
The president shockingly replied: “Me!!! I am the President of Pakistan Field Marshal Ayyub
Khan!”. The patient broke into a small smile, relaxed, shrugged his shoulders and said: “You came
to the right place!! I also used to say that I am the president that’s why I am here. Don’t worry
you’ll get better in no time!!!”.

Momina Ali, a strong and resilient woman, was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder
when she was just 17 years old. Her parents said that she was different even as an infant (they just
realized that a little late). Just like any other young child she threw tantrums but was very easily
upset nor could she adjust to any new places. Being strongly attached to her mother, if her mother
left the room she would start screaming and wouldn’t stop until her mother picked her up. But they
didn’t take her symptoms seriously considering it normal for babies. Moving on, throughout her
school years she could never adjust in the school environment. Screaming and shouting at the
teachers, even running away from school had become her habit. At home she would always remain
sullen, if anyone would want to start a conversation, she would go into a rage.

By the time she turned 18 her behavior was out of control to the extent that she would run away from home. Her
mood swings were really hard to manage and she also started having separation anxiety. One day
her mother noticed scars on her arms and legs and that’s when she realized that something was
seriously wrong with her daughter. After several meetings with a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist
diagnosed her with borderline personality disorder. After responding actively to her treatments,
coping with her mood swings and most importantly constant support from her family, she is now
in a better condition and adjusting really well. She even has made some close friends now! A tip
from her experience is that bringing positivity in her overall attitude and behavior along with full
emotional support from her family helped her overcome anxiety.

In a society where going to a therapist is looked down upon, and considered shame against an
egoistic aurora, there is a dire need to create awareness about personality and mental disorders.

We need to understand that people exhibiting strange mental disorders are also part and parcel of
our society and they need to contribute positively in our community networks. Acceptability of
their social behaviors in our society will in turn create a very positive outcome to help them
overcome their shortcomings and recover effectively. Similarly, social behavior workshops need
to be established for proper diagnosis and prognosis of mental disorder functions, thus creating a
foundation to help create early interference before the patient delves deep into further
complications.

The writer is doing her bachelors in Psychology from Riphah International University.