Can a Pakistani girl live a life of her choice?

Author: Maryam Falaknaz

When a daughter is born, this is typically not thought to be an indication of satisfaction rather parents start stressing over her education, her marriage, and God knows what not. All this time she tries to live her life the way she wants but this is just a fantasy. Her life is controlled by her parents, her relatives, her husband and her in- laws. Throughout her life, she is not supposed to do anything of her own choice and when she chooses to accomplish something her mind is swarmed with thoughts “what my parents will think about this” and “what my relatives will think about this”.

Starting from her education to her marriage, this is not a decision which is made by her but rather the people who control her life. I have seen many people saying that a girl should be independent, educated but where are these people when a girl actually needs them. These are the people who stand against all the women when they start pursuing their dreams and call them defiant.

How about we begin from her education? She cannot go to the school of her choice; she cannot study the subject of her choice. All these things are decided by her parents, relatives and the most experienced personnel’s in the family. Next important thing is the job. Everyone would say, “Teaching is ideal for her because our society doesn’t accept a girl working in a bank or any other place”.

Instead of changing the mindset of people, instead of trusting their daughters, they start trusting the society since they know the best. And the last but not the least when the most important turn of her life comes, the time of her marriage, no one even bothers to even ask what her opinion is. Instead, she is told that this is the guy you are going to marry and when she complains and explains that she is not ready for it yet, she is accused of being in a relationship with someone else. This is our society. And do you think that education can change all this? No. I have seen many educated people mocking their daughters just because she wants to live her life the way she wants.

Why can’t we just let our daughters live their own life? I am not saying that they should disrespect their parents. I am just saying that a daughter needs her parents’ supports more than anything in this whole world. They should be on her side no matter what. No matter what society says, no matter what relatives say, a daughter needs her parents by her side. Start listening to your daughters, give importance to what they say, show them support, and tell them you are with them no matter what. Or else it will be so late and you would have wrecked a valuable life that you weren’t aware of.

As Angelina Jolie said “There is no greater pillar of stability than a strong, free and educated woman and there is no inspiring role model than a man who respects and cherishes women”.

The writer can be reached at: falak.naz92@hotmail.com

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