Daily Times

Ending one’s life is probably the hardest decision for anybody. It is difficult to imagine what makes a person to commit suicide. What so ever may be the reason amongst a long list of causes identified by experts in relevant subject; it is for sure that the one making this lethal decision fails to see a purpose to live for. A recent suicide by a celebrity in neighboring country has highlighted the rising trend in unfortunate incidents in Pakistan as well, where between 15 to 35 people end their lives every single day. Such cases are on increase particularly in areas hit by poverty and destitute.

For me, Hamlet’s contemplation “To be or not to be” is not really a decision for him to put an end to his life. I rather take this as a reflective thought about the unknown beyond death. Whether it would be any easier to bear the sufferings of this life or opt to choose an uncertain path after death remains the actual question. A great Urdu poet “Zauq” faces the same dilemma when he says “ab to ghabr? ke yih kahte haiñ kih mar j??eñge: mar ke bh? chain nah p?y? to kidhar j??eñge”; meaning that in distress, we say that we will die. But even in death if we could not find peace, then where shall we find peace?

“Being” has both material and spiritual connotations. For some it is a simple state common to all, which is connected to the reality or let us say the reality which we perceive as such. However, what so ever compels a person to end his life; it has to be seen through a scientific as well as a spiritual lens together. Without focusing on the value of life as divine gift, we shall see why people surrender their right to live. Suicide cases in our society are normally not reported and dealt as natural death by families. So the figures available to plot the statistics may not reflect actual state on ground. It is also common for us to hear about young students committing suicide after facing failure in their academic performance. Sometimes a love affair becomes so lethal that either or one of the pair chooses death instead of accepting their situation in real world. It is pertinent to understand from where these triggers for suicide develop? Experts relate the main factors responsible to rise in suicide to anxiety and depression. In our country the main reason is attributed to poverty or mental health. Poverty creates mental issues such as anxiety, and someone who has regularly faced anxiety and depression over an extended period of time, it becomes literally impossible for him to get out of the negative spirals which pull a person to abyss of hopelessness. Acceptance of ones state of “being” becomes difficult which pushes one to end suffering with a hope to be at peace thereafter. For specialists in mental health, anxiety is a disorder which occurs when a person regularly feels stressed, worried or remains subjected to fear generated by internal or external sources. Depression is yet another disorder which affects how one feels, thinks and handles his daily life. Mystics also identify depression and anxiety as a spiritual disorder that negatively affects the spiritual wellness. The factors or stimuli in surroundings such as past traumatic experiences accumulated over a period of time create pain unless they are not fully faced and accepted.

Sometimes it is not easy for a person to breakout of the prison of his thoughts that create pain and suffering, thus such a person always needs to be supported encouraging him look for solutions obscured by his pain

It is understood that by accepting the experience and issues a person faces, he attains a better position to deal with anxiety. Once an individual surrenders then it naturally becomes useless and futile for him to think. Once a person submits and accepts all the negative energy that pushes him further down the staircase of hopelessness fades away. On the contrary resistance to thoughts and fear of consequences creates anxiety. That is what every religion professes acceptance and surrender as first step towards peace. Submission and surrender to divine is the first lesson taught by every faith. The commitment of every faith remains to silence all internal noise created by mind fed by own experiences and perceptions.

Every religion spells patience at times of affliction and surrendering to the divine as a remedy to bear with the pain. Sufferings and pain is created by resistance, denial of present situation and erratic mind processes. Mystics from all the faiths have identified many common ways to reduce the pain and sufferings. One of the methods is being “aware or being conscious” and remaining “present” which helps one to identify the reality against perceived reality, generated by ones observations. Positivity in grimmest of life situations spurts empowering energy to silence the unnecessary internal dialogue. Addressing each and every problem as it is, instead of magnifying it unnecessarily remains a solution against feeling overwhelmed by any life situation. Internal dialogue about what has happened earlier or in the past is always self-defeating. That is why spiritual masters prescribe mantras and meditation to silence internal noise allowing a person to focus on many of the solutions which a person cannot see due to his negative present state. These mantras, tasbeeh or meditation are the tools to find peace by shifting the entire resistive mindset. Like every religion Islam also lays emphasis on complete surrender and remembering Allah in the difficult times. Islam’s very meaning indicates acceptance and surrender. Patience is rewarded with peace and believers neither face unhappiness nor do they feel any fear, as promised by Holy Quran. While life situations would continue to pose their challenges for each and every one of us till the time we are alive, it is in fact up to us that how much we give a situation weightage to subdue us. Hope we learn to find peace one way or the other.

Sometimes it is not easy for a person to breakout of the prison of his thoughts that create pain and suffering, thus such a person always needs to be supported encouraging him look for solutions obscured by his pain. Each one of us carries some baggage of suffering, pain and experiences that challenge peace. Stress, anxiety and depression are disorders common to all. We keep on thinking about the situation, imagining how things could have been different, and otherwise putting our attention on the way things “could” or “should” have been, or how they will be in the future. We need to look for peace ourselves and help others to surrender. A famous mystic cliché “die before you die” means to surrender to the present reality before one dies physically. Anxiety and depression weakens as a person goes through this process of surrender and acceptance. Finding refuge in divine, accepting the situation by silencing the internal debate and exercising patience are rewarded with peace. Worrying about the past or being anxious about future is the total opposite of surrendering. As a society we must reach one another particularly those in difficult life situations and give them hope and positive energy to face their issues and reach a solution without being overwhelmed by the problems. This responsibility falls on the government as well as every single individual in the society.

The writer is a versatile analyst