Daily Times

RIO DE JANEIRO: Citing Islamophobia as the reason why Islamic states are struggling in the ongoing Olympic Games, a bloc of Muslim countries has suggested addition to the sports played at the Games, Khabaristan Times has learnt.

Among the many sports proposed for Tokyo 2020, anti-Semitism has been unanimously agreed by the group of Muslim countries led by Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Pakistan.

“The reason why we had more officials than athletes – all of whom were given the wild card – was because of the games chosen for the Olympics,” a Pakistani official told Khabaristan Times. “It is no coincidence that none of the top 15 in the medal standings is a Muslim country.”

Echoing his fellow Muslim official a Saudi manager said Islamophobia is the reason behind the choice of sports.

“None of the sports that we Muslims are good at has been chosen,” he said. “There’s no protest against cartoons rally race, recite the scriptures competition, religion mixing, or outrage extravaganza – it doesn’t get more Islamophobic than this!”

The most high profile among the new suggested sports is anti-Semitism. “Had anti-Semitism been judged this year, four Muslim states would already have gold medals in Rio: Saudi Arabia, Syria, Egypt and Lebanon,” the Saudi official said.

The Saudi official, however, conceded that once introduced as sport, the Muslim world would face stiff competition from the far Left in the West.

He also said that the Saudi kingdom does realise that the Muslim world is not a monolith and that not all Muslims are adept at similar sports. “If that weren’t the case we’d be rallying for beheading and stoning as well,” he said. “But many Muslims aren’t qualified for that. Those sports are only reserved for true Muslims.”

The Saudi officials confirmed that the kingdom and ISIS are planning to jointly host the True Muslim Olympics in Iraq and Levant next year onwards.

This satire originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission