Why so possessive?

Author: Mahrukh Aftab

Some people take possessiveness in a positive way. There are two types of possessive people: those who get over things fast (and yes they are not too possessive) and those who just don’t want to get over things. I mean like they just want someone or something and they are way too possessive.

I’ll start with my example. I am a 13-year-old girl who used to have no friends but now, I have some friends and I don’t want to lose them. I get possessive about things that I want or people that I want close to me. I’ll just do anything to make them mine.

Sometimes I sit alone and think that why do I act like an authority figure. Why do I want someone who I know that I can never have too myself? Why am I so possessive? Let me tell you why. As I told you before I had no friends. Some hated me and some weren’t even able to identify me as a boy or a girl. I used to call myself a boy because I grew with my brothers.

My classmates used to say: Oye yar ek baat batao tum larkay ho to larkion kay school may kya karnay ayay ho.” I was like what? All I used to do was refer to myself as a boy (mai aya tha, mai gaya tha). This is because my upbringing was influenced by my brothers.

Well! Let’s just forget about that stuff. Now I do have friends and yes they accept me for what I am, but something just doesn’t feel right. I get possessive about those people I like because I just don’t want to lose them.

Do you know how I feel about those people I like? Let me tell you. I would just start talking about that person NON-STOP. I would think about that person day and night. I would definitely don’t want that person to talk to someone else and of course, he/she would hate that.

I admit that i am possessive. I myself would not like anybody to control me or anybody just spying me like every time. I once talked to my mother about this and she told me that would I like someone asking me every single minute that who was I talking to or who was I going out with or what was I doing when someone was not with me.

You know that the people who are possessive just don’t get that type of attention they want because people start to call them ATTENTION SEEKERS. And when someone already knows that you are an attention seeker, why would someone be interested in spending time with you. A time will come when everyone will leave your side and you’ll be standing in a corner trying to make those people come back Before it gets too late it is better to leave all that possessiveness behind you.

Do you know that how can you get over this level of possessiveness Let me tell you. This can only happen when you let your feelings out by talking to someone you trust, writing articles like I am writing right now or by reading books. And remember that you can’t control anybody’s life. I would never want my friends to hide from me or to stop talking to me, and start saying that: “Oye nass jao kabza group arahi hai.” I want my friends, my cousins and my family to trust me.

I’m only 13 years old and I’ve been trying to overcome this thing but I can’t understand that why different countries, governments, groups want to control. You know what I am talking about. Tell me what is happening in Syria, Iraq, Kashmir, and Palestine. They just don’t even want the people to breathe without their permission. Isn’t this the height of possessiveness?

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