Daily Times

RAWALPINDI: Lauding the boys over Pakistan the number 1 ranked Test side in the world, DG ISPR Lt Gen AsimBajwa said it is another phenomenal success of Zarb-e-Azb. He was addressing a press conference earlier today.

“The boys deserve all the credit in the world, for the outstanding results that we’ve seen over the summer,” Bajwa said while addressing the media. “Those cricketers were indeed very fortunate to have the boys train them in Abbotabad.”

Lt Gen Bajwa said the number 1 ranking is the latest success of operation Zarb-e-Azb that has brought joy, happiness and glory to Pakistan in all walks of life.

“After breaking the backbone of terrorists, we have now broken the backbones of rival cricket teams,” the DG ISPR said.

“We will now look to consolidate the gains of the erstwhile nationwide – and now worldwide – military operation by taking over the Pakistan Cricket Board.”

“One could see that attacks at Old Trafford and Edgbaston were designed to undermine the successes of Zarb-e-Azb. But our successful combing operation at The Oval gave Pakistan Army the decisive victory.”

Despite the overwhelming successes of the Pakistan Army, Lt Gen Bajwa remained modest.

“We could’ve achieved this milestone earlier had it not been for Afghan refugees and Baloch agents of RAW and NDS,” he told the media. “We still have a few RAW agents in the PCB and even the national cricket team, but we’re working on the cleansing operation.”

When pushed to name and shame the agents Lt Gen Bajwa displayed a massive chart featuring the ICC ODI rankings.

The DG ISPR further confirmed that the National Cricket Academy will be permanently moved to Abbotabad, which ‘will soon host international cricket as well’.

“Osama Bin Laden’s compound has been empty for the past five years. We could use that as our new cricket academy.”

This satire originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission