Daily Times

As grownups we might not be aware of the amount of stress and fear our children are experiencing during this COVID 19 pandemic. I was no different until my twelve-year-old son came to me in the morning and shared that he had a nightmare about people getting infected in our neighborhood. I was terrified to listen to the minute details he could re-collect from his nightmare. It was so distressing to visualize the panic, distress and horror his young mind had experienced. Without inclining to the Freudian or Adlerian school of thought on interpretations of dreams, my motherly instinct could very well understand what was happening to him on conscious and subconscious level.

I did try to counsel him at emotional level and also tried to intellectualize the situation by discussing that case fatality rate was less for COVID 19 as compared to other common health problems. We did some browsing to discover precautionary measures and recovered cases over the globe to further strengthen the rationalization that this pandemic could be less fatal than any other flu like disease, if social distancing is maintained. My son seemed to accede to my submissions, at least for that point in time. But this whole episode equally distressed the mother and psychologist in me.

I think all parents can relate to the fact that during this lockdown, in order to feed our logical minds with factual knowledge, we spend more time listening to news and expert opinions about novel corona virus. And assuming that our children are not interested in listening to our boring discussions, we debate on very harsh and bitter sides of this pandemic in their presence. But on the contrary many early childhood development writers like Elaine Hunter emphasize that children are like little sponges, and they absorb lot more information from their surroundings than adults. It means no matter what we try, they are somehow going to be exposed to the information flooding in from all sides about corona virus. And it will definitely bring some changes in their inner, psychological world.

Anxiety in itself is a natural alarm for us during a distressing situation, so we can take steps to bring back balance, control and predictability into our lives says Dr. Meghan Tuohy Walls, from Department of pediatrics Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children. In uncertain times like this, if one does not take required steps to cope with anxiety, it can in return over shadow his/her personality. It’s very important as parents to protect psychological wellbeing of ourselves and our children.

When world is no more the way it was, it is alright to allow yourself to relax your boundaries. You can let your child have a little more play time without a guilt

Jacob Hunt, UNICEF communications specialist says that in a time like this, when children are surrounded with disturbing images and videos, they struggle with distinguishing between the outside world and their personal reality. So, it becomes essential as a parent to communicate with your children at their level of understanding and take them in confidence about the outbreak without overwhelming them. Through videos, drawings, social stories and role play you should teach them how to protect themselves from the potential risk of getting infected.

World health organization has issued a very comprehensive guide for parents to help their children cope with stress during 2019 novel coronavirus outbreak. According to the guide, children might react differently to the stressing circumstances and exhibit different symptoms of stress, anxiety, frustration etc. In such situation parents should react in a very supportive way. They should give one on one time to their children to listen to their feelings. It is of utmost importance that opportunities for their physical play and recreation are created so children can use their energy positively and feel relaxed. WHO recommends that creating a structured routine is very important to create a sense of control and predictability in life. Children feel less stressed if they know what is coming up next in routine. Getting up and sleeping at routine timings, having shifts of study and play and creating a near to normal school day routine can help the children feel that life is going fine and normal. Another important point discussed in WHO guide is that parents should make children feel equipped and empowered by giving them essential information about the disease, precautionary measures and recovery rate of the disease. Sharing information with children is also very important because fear of unknown tends to make them more stressed, and having important information gives them a feeling that they are in control.

Parents should also take care of their own psychological health, because children get effected by their mental conditions. Rae Jacobson from child mind institute writes that in normal circumstances we do not allow ourselves to be less than perfect of a parent. But in a time like this, when world is no more the way it was, it is alright to allow yourself to relax your boundaries. You can let your child have a little more play time without a guilt. Just let them realize that you are temporarily incorporating a little flexibility in their schedules so you as a family want to enjoy this family time more which you do not get to cherish much during routine days. An important thing to be remembered as parents is that children follow your behavior more than your words. So, be creative, be flexible and be positive. Keep home environment relaxed and cherish each moment of love and care spent with your child. This is a difficult time, but it will pass. Stay home Stay safe.

The writer is Director Programs & Projects Rising Sun Education & Welfare Society