Daily Times

RAWALPINDI/LAHORE: Masterfully decoding global conspiracies against Pakistan once again, Chief of Army Staff (COAS) General Raheel Sharif has confirmed that England’s world record batting total in the third ODI against Pakistan was an attack on China Pakistan Economic Corridor (CPEC).

In a senior security meeting summoned before the fourth ODI today, the Army Chief directed commanders and intelligence agencies to intensify the combing, and targeted operations with full vigour to eliminate anti-state elements and terror facilitators within Pakistan’s One Day International squad.

Participants of the conference were given detailed briefings on the unparalleled military successes and the peaceful security situation in almost all parts of the country.

Chairing the Corps Commanders conference in Rawalpindi today, General Raheel Sharif said that cowardly attack against Pakistan’s bowling in Trent Bridge is an attempt to undermine the successes of operation Zarb-e-Azb.

“It was a phenomenal success of Zarb-e-Azb that the Test team reached the number 1 ranking,” the Army Chief reiterated. “And now enemies of Pakistan are conspiring against the China Pakistan Economic Corridor through ODI proxies.”

However, reiterating the resolve to complete ‘Pakistan’s lifeline’ General Raheel Sharif warned the enemies of Pakistan that CPEC would be completed at all cost. “No matter how many runs Pakistan’s enemies score, the armed forces would not allow anyone to reverse our gains against terrorism and jeopardise CPEC.”

ODI team to be sidelined under National Action Plan

Pakistan Cricket Board Chairman (PCB) Shahryar Khan said Thursday the board has decided to sideline the one-day team and put it under the National Action Plan (NAP).

While talking to Khabaristan Times at the PCB headquarters in Lahore, Shahryar said he was bedazzled when England posted the highest ever one-day international total at Trent Bridge. “My grandkids had insisted I let them watch Doraemon. I should’ve listened to them and changed the channel,” the PCB chairman said.

Shahryar said he received a call from the Prime Minister’s Office following the national side’s brutal defeat at the bats of England. He added that Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was pissed off.

“They were literally growling. I don’t know if it was one of Prime Minister Nawaz’s pet lion on the phone call or the cabinet members themselves. I was scared to death.

“The prime minister also told me he wanted my resignation, as opposition parties have started to blame lack of implementation on National Action Plan as the reason behind Pakistan ODI team’s failure.”

However, PCB chairman said he was in talks with Jamaat-ud-Dawa (JuD), Ahl-e-Sunnat Wal Jamaat (ASWK) to discuss the near future of ODI cricket in Pakistan.

“You see these groups know how to continue plying their trade despite being banned and under the NAP’s radar,” he said. “They would help PCB make its banned outfit functional for the series against West Indies, New Zealand and Australia.”

This satire originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission