Daily Times

Last night in a dream I watched Dr No, the first James Bond movie. Not all of it but the part where Bond is on Crab Key Island and hears a woman humming the song, “Underneath the Mango Tree.” The scene is perhaps one of the most iconic ones in the history of cinema. As Bond stands up to see who is singing he sees Honey Ryder played by Ursula Andress walk out of the sea. A great scene, but in my dream Andress as she comes out of the sea is not wearing a bikini but a burkini. At about this time the dream starts to change into a nightmare. Soon I awake up thinking about that scene.

The reason why the burkini came in my dream was clearly because I was reading a lot about burkinis in the news. I am all for burkinis, but of one thing I am sure that if Honey Rider had come out of the sea wearing a burkini instead of that cute little white bikini, Dr No would have been the first and also the last James Bond movie to be made.

Ever since the burkini controversy started when it was banned in some French towns, I have been wondering about how important is the right to wear a burkini on a French beach. For instance, would a man wearing a burkini also be forced to remove it? Personally, I am not at all a beach person. Some 45 years ago, during my first summer in the New York area, going to the beach was a very much done thing. A friend inquired whether I had any desire to go to the beach. My response was that I don’t need a tan, and I don’t know how to swim so what am I going to do on a beach. Obviously, many people go to the beach to ‘see and be seen’. And some actually go there to swim or get a tan. Anyway, walking around in public wearing something akin to my underwear was never a pleasant thought for me.

The trials and tribulations of a classmate from medical college are instructive in matters of beach-going. The young man (young at that time) was by God’s grace of a skin tone a wee bit darker than most Punjabis. He decided to spend a day at the beach, most likely at the behest of a much lighter-skinned American girlfriend. On his return he dropped in to see us, us being a group of still unmarried doctors living in hospital supplied accommodations. On seeing him one of us suggested that our friend during his visit to the beach had tanned rather well. At this our beach-returned friend became most irate, and said that he had not tanned but had turned black. Sounds much better and not at all racially tinged in vernacular Punjabi. I am sure that he never visited a beach again.

My point then is that wearing loosely fitting, full body coverings are probably not conducive to getting tanned or to efficient and safe swimming. So what then is the purpose of visiting a beach wearing a burkini? All I can say is that it is to make a political point and inevitably draw attention. What I do remember from my readings from the Holy Book is that for Muslim females to draw attention towards themselves is sort of frowned upon. It would seem to me that wearing a burkini on a French beach is certainly going to attract a lot of attention.

That said as far as I am concerned it is the right of every woman, Muslim or not, to wear whatever they think is appropriate when they go out of the house including going to the beach. I am also quite sure that the same applies to most men. As a matter of fact, it is my opinion that Muslim men should wear burkinis when visiting beaches in France. This will indeed be a worthwhile protest movement, much better than shooting innocent people.

However, there is one place where I strongly recommend the wearing of burkinis. That is in Pakistan. Since very few Pakistanis have access to a beach so I feel that burkinis should become every day wear not only for the women but also for the men. Of course the ‘mankini’ will have to end quite above the ankles while burkinis will have to cover the ankles completely. After all, women showing ankles in public can drive virile Pakistani men to unspeakable distractions. Here is another fine point in religious propriety that I have never quite understood. Why is it a religious obligation only for men to keep their ankles uncovered especially so when they offer their prayers? It is not just about public behaviour. Even as a child I do not remember women in the household pulling up their shalwars before praying. But then I don’t remember too many men doing that either in those simpler times.

To demonstrate solidarity with burkini-wearing women, Pakistani men should start wearing mankinis. Especially our religious divines as well as our politicians. The ever so well-dressed chief minister of the Punjab, who is well known for his support for women and their issues, should take the lead. Since our prime minister will be visiting the United Nations in a week or so, it might make a great statement in support of burkini wearing Muslim women all over the western world if he turned up wearing a mankini. And it would be entirely appropriate if government ordered all its employees to wear mankinis or burkinis while at work. I am sure that our Pakistani fashion designers can really do a great job for the mankini and burkini trade. And no, these ‘kinis’ do not have to be unisex. As it is, many men and women wear kurtas and shalwars, without these clothes being unisex in any way.

The author is a former editor of the Journal of Association of Pakistani descent Physicians of North America (APPNA)