Daily Times

Imagine, an entire gender (women) is raised having a fear of the other gender (men). Imagine, an entire gender (women) is raised on the caution to be wary of the other gender (men). Imagine, an entire gender (women) is hated and wronged for centuries by the other gender (men). Imagine, an entire gender (women) to be sufferers, victims and collateral damage at the hands of the other gender (men). Imagine, generations of generations (women) living an unfair and inferior life just because of their gender.

Stare at a woman because how dare she is visible. Rape a woman because how dare she is out in public. Grope her because how dare she does not wear the clothes according to the set codes. Burn her with acid because how dare she rejects a marriage proposal. Kill her because how dare she chooses to marry by her choice. Beat her because how dare she questions a man’s actions.

Any form of violence is primarily an expression of power and sense of superiority. Similarly, the violence on women also comes from men’s sense of power and supremacy. From harassment to rape to domestic violence to honour killing, it’s men’s way to express that they have absolute power on women, their bodies and their lives andthey have a right to treat them as they please.

Instead of teaching women retaliation, they have always been made accustomed to all kind of atrocities and taught to remain habitually silent and for a large part of their lives, they kept believing that this is the norm, this is the course of life, this is how men are, it is normal and talking about it is a matter of personal shame. This flawed belief convinced women to remain silent and tolerate every kind of physical and sexual abuse and resultantly, their silence widened the space for men and emboldened them to perpetuate their wrong conduct.

The centuries-old ideology of misogyny has had witnessed its dark moments but, this recent mindset-in-vogue that attributes harassment and rape to women’s clothing puts both sanity and humanity to shame. Besides that, it has also reaffirmed the fact that, as a society, our sense of (religious and social) morality and honour is misplaced. It never gets hurt by the actual evils that contaminate our social fabric but, it always gets offended by a trivial and harmless thing like the clothing of a woman.

The clothing is merely a way of covering the body as per one’s choice. It is not a symbol of religiosity or transgression, piety or impiety, oppression or liberation, conservatism or liberalism, a measure of one’s character and an invitation and excuse for encroachment on someone’s body and infliction of any kind of inappropriate behaviour.

The choice of clothing is strictly a personal matter which makes it not the business of the state, any authority or any individual to measure or control the size or design of a woman’s dress especially when the imposition of such restrictions are attached to a motive of protecting women from sexual abuse. Because by dictating the code of clothing especially as a safety measure to protect an individual from sexual assault, it not only deprives the person of his/her right to his/her body, it also clearly sends the message that if the decreed size and design of clothes are not donned, the felons are free and justified to harass or molest one and the victim will be fully responsible for any kind of ‘indecent act’.

Imagine men being told to wear gowns, grow a beard and wear a cap; imagine ordaining them to quit wearing jeans, T-shirts and shorts; imagine them being ogled, groped and molested because women get provoked by their dressing and visibility; imagine men being told that it’s their fault that they have been raped or harassed because they weren’t properly dressed.

Merely because of their gender, men have never been denied a right; their clothing never faced any objection; they never experienced the fear of going out alone; they are never pawed, raped, cat-called, acid-attacked, beaten and killed because of their gender. So, there is little to expect from a breed that has lived a privileged life, remained a brute and doesn’t know the meaning of being a victim.

The protection for women lies not in submission but in retaliation, not in receding but reclaiming the space that has always been denied to them. The solution to having a protective society for our daughters doesn’t lie in clothing but in empowering them

Women in Pakistan are ‘sufficiently’ and very ‘appropriately’ dressed, yet if women are asked to cover themselves when they are already covered becausemen get provoked by their bare face, feet and hands, we know that the problem lies elsewhere.

The truth is that only a pervert gets provoked by the dressing of a woman. So, the men who think and demand that women should wrap themselves in layers of clothesbecause men get provoked and premise their demand on religious teachings are the men that need to be put in a bedlam or thrown in a dungeon as these are the men whose existence is a threat to the safety of womensincebringing up of religion as a preventive toolis fundamentally flawedbecause a pervert has no religion, a harasser has no religion, a rapist has no religion. It is a cultural, behavioural and psychological disorder that no amount of clothes can cure.

The problem doesn’t lie with the clothes, the skirt, the sleeveless top, the scarf, the hijab (veil). Women’s ‘proper clothing’ can’t heal the repulsive disease that lies deep in the heads of men because men have an inbuilt supernatural talent to x-ray women’s bodies with the rays that can traverse through layers and layers of covers. No size and amount of piece of cloth can save a woman from sexual assault. The only thing that will stop predators is stopping them through intimidation and deterrence and fearlessness of woman which will come from giving our daughters confidence instead of chaadar because that they already have.

If the potential-victims of sexual assault are continued to be sermonized about the methods to evade assaults instead of nabbing the predators and reforming the mindset that fuels and justifies rape and harassment, it will not only keep their lives perpetually endangered but, it will also eternize the long-reigning culture of victim-blaming.

The protection for women lies not in submission but in retaliation, not in receding but reclaiming the space that has always been denied to them. The solution to having a protective society for our daughters doesn’t lie in clothing but in empowering them and making them fearless, in teaching them to stare back vigorously and drain out the perennial sickness and unbridled lust, to call men out instead ofleavingtheir ground and to refuse to submit to problematic and regressiveviews of society.

Women must stand up for themselves and should stop themselves from being told to wear ‘proper clothes’ to escape men’s nefarious and odious intentions. It’s time that the advocacy for personal freedom and mutual respect is voiced valiantly. The dream of a safe society for our daughters and their daughters can’t bear fruition just by covering them and hiding them inside the homes. For centuries, women are taught ‘what to do’ and ‘what not to do’ to escape men’s inappropriate behaviour. The truth is, all this investment wasmade in the wrong place. About time we understand thatif we want to save our girls, we need to start saving our boys by teaching them the right behaviour.

The writer is freelance based in Islamabad