Daily Times

When I think about nature’s apathy and callousness, suddenly, I go in a state of desperation thinking how strange and lunatic the behaviour of some human beings is. We do not know when our love turns into hatred. A love affair never ends; it can turn into a hate affair.

Love is only authentic when it gives you freedom. There is no one formation of true or false love. Love is just love, and it’s always true. But what is to be done with those feelings that are always there for those who are our beloved? Those feelings flutter like a chopped-feather bird on the ground of our heart. I know that natural independence is of ultimate value for human beings, but I am still curious about emotional affairs and commitments.

When you say to someone ‘I love you’, and your commitment doesn’t surround your mind, then simply, you are not fair. And what about those who already said ‘I am committed to you because I really love you’? It is an utterly confusing phenomenon, but I really want to solve these confusions today; otherwise, I will never be free from my incomplete and scattered feelings for my beloved.

Buddha said that the common cause of human beings’ miseries is the relation between a human mind and an inclination. An inclination is a natural tendency to like someone or something, so is this the wrong approach according to Buddha’s philosophy? I think that there is no paradox in Buddha’s philosophy. I think he alluded to a ‘state of expectation’. An expectation is the state of mind that drags a human being towards negative emotions, such as hate, envy, revenge, hostility, malice, and prejudice.

Broken heart syndrome is now a medically proved cardiovascular disease, but it appears when you suffer from an emotional disorder

This is not just a romantic or a philosophical piece of prose but an expression of the most common psychological ailment-‘broken heart syndrome’-in our society. It is not an emotional myth; rather, it is a medically proven phenomenon that our emotions are interconnected to our physical body, and our emotional serenity and agony affects our body, particularly our heart and nervous system. Broken heart syndrome is now a medically proved cardiovascular disease, but it appears when you suffer from an emotional disorder, like suppression of expression related to an emotional affair, constant mood disorder, and lugubriousness, particularly, emotional disability after a break-up or divorce. The most common cause of a myocardial infarction is the blockage of blood vessels, but in the case of broken heart syndrome, blood vessels are not blocked. It is constant mental stress that leads to broken heart syndrome.

Broken heart syndrome is called a romantic disease. It is more common in women than in men because women are generally soft emotionally, and stress management is more difficult in women after an emotional disorder. When you have reached a state of mental stress, you must immediately change things. Listen to classical music, and in particular, instrumental renditions composed in violin, trumpet and saxophone. Drink light coffee every eight hours. Stop thinking about the past and avoid isolation. Try to live in the present. If you are suffering from severe depression, particularly, after break up or divorce, spend most of your time with children or in a shelter home. Engage yourself in positive activities like travelling or visiting a costume collection outlet. Find your favourite collection of fragrances. Get involved in dynamic meditation and kundalini yoga. It is a non-medicinal treatment.

Some cardiologists recommend different types of cardiovascular medicine for those who are suffering from severe depression after break up or divorce. One important point to always remember: do not use any tranquiliser in form of oral or injectable because it provides temporary illusive serenity, and usage of that stuff soon becomes a habit. Mental stress after break up and divorce is an unbearable situation; sometimes, it is difficult to tackle it. But do not use any form of drugs, alcohol or sleeping pills because that is not the solution of your problem. Try to find those people who are serious about you and spend most of your time with them.

The writer is a psychologist and a polymath