Daily Times

Is it just the facade of “not what is said but rather how it is said”, that is used to malign the vulnerability of every single women’s experience outside home or within the four walls of her home, or is it just the realization of how deep rooted this sickening mind set is within each one of us?

Here’s a punch line for those gearing themselves up to yell that the title of this article shows how women or “feminaziz” are working on an agenda against Pakistan and/or Islam, I am a proud Muslim and Islam as a religion has taught me about all the rights women have compared to what our society gives us. It is about time that we gather up some courage to address a few things, those who wish to understand will understand.

The idea that someone complaining about being uncomfortable with another individual is not for you to debate on and say “NOT ALL MEN YAR”.  If a person comes up to you and tells you how traumatizing it was for them to be harassed on roads every day, it is not your responsibility to save all the men who do not harass by saying “NOT ALL MEN YAR”. If a person complains about being in an abusive relationship, you have no right to tell them “NOT ALL MEN YAR”, yes they know that not all men are like that but there are “enough” men like that. The fact that you could use religion to justify your role in this society but not really act upon it is nothing but disgusting, this is the kind of hypocrisy mentioned in Quran countless times.

The fact that women can’t even step outside without being harassed is something that should make you question yourself. Men who know that they have never and will never harass anyone or make anyone uncomfortable are not always jumping on this bandwagon with “NOT ALL MEN YAR”.

Why? Because they know their own gender very well. They know that the majority of men are sliding into direct messages of girls and sending them unsolicited sexual images, they know that the majority of men will strip a woman down with their eyes even if she is wearing an abbaya. They know that when a woman reports about being groped in liberty market multiple times, it is not for anyone to say “NOT ALL MEN YAR”. If you are not hiding your own mischievousness behind this phrase, then please be the one who stands up with women not against them. Be the one to give a shut up call to all those asking the victims to stay silent. Be the kind of man you are with your sisters and mothers.

We complain because men at the toll plaza rub their entire hand on our hand when we take the receipt, we complain because the way we walk, talk and whatever we wear will be sexualized, we complain because random men park their car in front of us to give us a “ride”, we complain because we are done feeling uncomfortable every single day. That is why we now stand up for ourselves and still get slut shamed.

So thankyou to the brigade yelling, “Not all men yar”

I too have had the experience of using public transport, or standing alone on a bus stand. I’ve seen young teenagers gearing up their motorcycles to bump into me or to immediately sway beside me and frighten me. My walk back home also involves being starred from head to toe by disgusting men, and if I dare to look into their eyes my heart always jumps up to my throat whenever I realize that “where” exactly are they starring.

It’s really a sad, sad state of affairs we’re in. Please think before you tweet “NOT ALL MEN”, you might be trivializing someone’s sexual abuse experience, you might be rubbing a rape survivor’s story under your nose with the back of your fingers, you might be forgetting that you know “enough” men who do nothing but sexualize women.

For a second, before shutting this article down, please realize that we know that you are not in support of any kind of harassment but when you nonchalantly yell “NOT ALL MEN”, or make this hashtag trend on twitter, we see nothing but “danger” from your gender. You are simply silencing the voices of those oppressed, if you have read Quran enough you would know “Zulm ka saath dena gunaah hai”, and “Zulm” is pretty obvious right now. Always remember, if men would stand up with women and not against women to make this society safer, that will always have a greater impact. Like a Punjabi who voices out against the oppression of people of Baluchistan will have a greater impact. Talking about the oppressed while belonging to the group of people who are privileged will always bring about change.

Lastly please realize that identifying oppression as oppression is not a weakness. And I am not making this all up to support my own gender, everything that I have mentioned has either been experience by me personally or by the people I know. And every time we have tried to talk about it what do we hear? Yes.  We hear, NOT ALL MEN!

So thankyou for silencing us.

May your own daughters, sisters and mothers never go through this. And God forbid if they do, please tell them “NOT ALL MEN YAR”.

Is it just the facade of “not what is said but rather how it is said”, that is used to malign the vulnerability of every single women’s experience outside home or within the four walls of her home, or is it just the realization of how deep rooted this sickening mind set is within each one of us?

Here’s a punch line for those gearing themselves up to yell that the title of this article shows how women or “feminaziz” are working on an agenda against Pakistan and/or Islam, I am a proud Muslim and Islam as a religion has taught me about all the rights women have compared to what our society gives us. It is about time that we gather up some courage to address a few things, those who wish to understand will understand.

The idea that someone complaining about being uncomfortable with another individual is not for you to debate on and say “NOT ALL MEN YAR”.  If a person comes up to you and tells you how traumatizing it was for them to be harassed on roads every day, it is not your responsibility to save all the men who do not harass by saying “NOT ALL MEN YAR”. If a person complains about being in an abusive relationship, you have no right to tell them “NOT ALL MEN YAR”, yes they know that not all men are like that but there are “enough” men like that. The fact that you could use religion to justify your role in this society but not really act upon it is nothing but disgusting, this is the kind of hypocrisy mentioned in Quran countless times.

The fact that women can’t even step outside without being harassed is something that should make you question yourself. Men who know that they have never and will never harass anyone or make anyone uncomfortable are not always jumping on this bandwagon with “NOT ALL MEN YAR”.

Why? Because they know their own gender very well. They know that the majority of men are sliding into direct messages of girls and sending them unsolicited sexual images, they know that the majority of men will strip a woman down with their eyes even if she is wearing an abbaya. They know that when a woman reports about being groped in liberty market multiple times, it is not for anyone to say “NOT ALL MEN YAR”. If you are not hiding your own mischievousness behind this phrase, then please be the one who stands up with women not against them. Be the one to give a shut up call to all those asking the victims to stay silent. Be the kind of man you are with your sisters and mothers.

We complain because men at the toll plaza rub their entire hand on our hand when we take the receipt, we complain because the way we walk, talk and whatever we wear will be sexualized, we complain because random men park their car in front of us to give us a “ride”, we complain because we are done feeling uncomfortable every single day. That is why we now stand up for ourselves and still get slut shamed.

So thankyou to the brigade yelling, “Not all men yar”

I too have had the experience of using public transport, or standing alone on a bus stand. I’ve seen young teenagers gearing up their motorcycles to bump into me or to immediately sway beside me and frighten me. My walk back home also involves being starred from head to toe by disgusting men, and if I dare to look into their eyes my heart always jumps up to my throat whenever I realize that “where” exactly are they starring.

It’s really a sad, sad state of affairs we’re in. Please think before you tweet “NOT ALL MEN”, you might be trivializing someone’s sexual abuse experience, you might be rubbing a rape survivor’s story under your nose with the back of your fingers, you might be forgetting that you know “enough” men who do nothing but sexualize women.

For a second, before shutting this article down, please realize that we know that you are not in support of any kind of harassment but when you nonchalantly yell “NOT ALL MEN”, or make this hashtag trend on twitter, we see nothing but “danger” from your gender. You are simply silencing the voices of those oppressed, if you have read Quran enough you would know “Zulm ka saath dena gunaah hai”, and “Zulm” is pretty obvious right now. Always remember, if men would stand up with women and not against women to make this society safer, that will always have a greater impact. Like a Punjabi who voices out against the oppression of people of Baluchistan will have a greater impact. Talking about the oppressed while belonging to the group of people who are privileged will always bring about change.

Lastly please realize that identifying oppression as oppression is not a weakness. And I am not making this all up to support my own gender, everything that I have mentioned has either been experience by me personally or by the people I know. And every time we have tried to talk about it what do we hear? Yes.  We hear, NOT ALL MEN!

So thankyou for silencing us.

May your own daughters, sisters and mothers never go through this. And God forbid if they do, please tell them “NOT ALL MEN YAR”.