Daily Times

According to the United Nations, violence against women is “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or random deprivation of freedom, whether happening in public or in private life. The most widespread type of violence against women is domestic violence. Domestic violence is characterised as any utilisation of physical or sexual power, genuine or threatened, in an intimate relationship. It might incorporate a single or multiple acts of violence, or various acts shaping an abusive behaviour that is assaultive and controlling. It may include physical, psychological or sexual violence, stalking, threat to hurt kids or other loved ones or property. Domestic violence can be labelled to any such violent behaviour done by the family member and the majority of domestic violence is witnessed in intimate relationships like husband and wife.”

If we look into this definition, condition of women rights in Pakistan can be easily judged. Women are subjugated to many types of violence. In our highly patriarchal society, women witness multiple kinds of oppression, discrimination and offensive behaviour on a daily basis, from home to the workplace. It makes women eventually complacent to that kind of an attitude. There is no official or national data available on violence against women, and most of the non-governmental organisation data is rough estimates, as most of the violence against women is never documented. It is still highly alarming.

Most of the cases of violence against women never come to the surface due to ‘shame’ and bad name for the victim, and no punishment to the perpetrators. The dilemma of our society that the victim is accused, whether the crime is domestic in nature or high severity like rape and ‘honour’ killing. According to the statistics of the Thompson Reuters Foundation 2017, Pakistan is the world’s sixth most unsafe country for women. The Human Rights Watch study of 2009 maintains that in Pakistan, each year, 5,000 women die due to domestic violence. The prevalence of domestic violence is more common in rural areas as compared to urban areas.

Gender-based violence is a general public health and human rights violation. The extent of this issue is not properly been explored, because majority of the victims avoid public exposure as society is quite biased against women’s allegations. The problem is voices of women have been muzzled from the beginning, as it is said to bring bad name to the family, and/or cause children to suffer. The person who suffers the most is the woman who bears a lifelong trauma or oppression.

In our highly patriarchal society, women witness multiple kinds of oppression, discrimination and offensive behaviour on a daily basis, from home to the workplace

Another narrative is to blame the victim rather than the perpetuator. So whether it is domestic violence by a husband, the blame is not directly put on the culprit; rather, society blames the wife, examines her ‘character, and points fingers at her for not sacrificing for her children, if there are children involved. Blaming the victim is so common that questions that should be pointed to predators turn back to the victim. To give one example, in the May 16, 2019Rawalpindi gang rape case, the question that was asked was what the victim was doing at that time of night with a man, and that carelessness of the girl was the reason for that heinous crime.

The sad thing is that women equally propagate the narrative of questioning the victim. Without sympathising with the distressed woman, some women try to exploit the situation; that it happened somehow due to the victim’s negligence. Another common trait is to try to blame another woman in a case of domestic violence-a sister-in-law, mother-in-law, or some other woman who poisoned the man to commit the abhorrent act of domestic violence. Women are called home breakers, clearly diverting the attention from the culprit and accuse women. Usually, it is said in a case of an extramarital affair that the man musthave been lured by someone, and that someone is always a woman. The common narrative ‘aurat hee aurat ki dusmanhai'(a woman is a woman’s biggest enemy)exonerates a man. It diverts attention from the man, and somehow finds a woman to blame.

The narrative that a woman is ultimately responsible for any violence is not merely propagated by some men but equally perpetuated by women. As almost half of our society is consisted of women, they cannot be absolved of their responsibility of being a part of a common narrative. These social dogmas exists due to a lifelong conditioning, where a mother tells her daughter to be tame, and teaches servitude, placing men at a high pedestal, instilling that being female is inferior. Such behaviour strengthens patriarchy and serves no positive purpose in a female’s life. Women who instill such norms of inferiority in females are mothers; they perpetuate patriarchal norms due to several reasons. It may be due to economic dependency, fear of societal pressure of violation of norms, religious influences, and internalised sexism.

In psychology and sociology, internalised sexism is the system in which the oppressed group accepts that all the torment or oppression is their fault. They find fault in themselves to justify the action of the oppressor. They believe that the stereotypes are right, and in their utmost benefit. They feel less intelligent and inferior to the dominant group. This explains the situation our society is facing right now. There are people who respect and protect women rights, and we have seen a positive change where people are raising their voice against injustices. There are many men who rise up against violence against women. It is seen in the words of a man: “A divorced sister is better than a dead sister.”

Similarly, there are women who accept patriarchy and consider it okay for a man to beat his wife, and blame girls’ mobility for outdoor violence. Social media is a powerful tool that not only expresses masses’ mentality on issues; it is used by many celebrities to express their views about life and society. Many social media influencers take it as a tool to make society aware of different issues that were not discussed before. The privilege of their voices being heard should be used in the construction of a better society, not to blame a male or a female on a personal preference. People are influenced by actions of their favourite celebrities, and they follow their opinion.

It is the responsibility of a celebrity to be cautious while addressing any sensitive issue, and not look at the issue based on his/her personal experiences, but on a broad spectrum of the issue’s prevalence, manifestation and consequences. Women, for the sake of social acceptance, at times, demean their own problems, blaming themselves or accuse other women to be the root cause of the issue. They mishandle the matter, and make it worse.

It is instilled right from the beginning of social conditioning that woman have to compromise in all situations, whether it is to sacrifice their career for home-making, or when they face domestic violence. At times, it is justified in the name of religion.

Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) had great respect for women. He never beat any of his wives, and he preached that a man should always fear Allah for his responsibilities towards his wife and family. The prophet instructed men to fear Allah, and not treat their wives unfairly.

Pakistan has signed the convention of elimination of all kinds of discrimination against women-CEDAW, and other international treaties to protect women’s rights. All four provincial assemblies have passed bills against domestic violence. The proper implementation of these laws is yet to be expected. There should be a proper investigation, and a mechanism for proper safety for the complainant. Men and women should be treated equally, and should have an equal chance to explain their position in a case of domestic violence. In cases of severe violence like kidnapping, rape or assault, justice should be swift.

Here our media should also play a responsible role. When covering a report, media should not put a victim or an affected family in an awkward situation. Before coming to any conclusion, a case should be properly investigated, and not be publicised for sensationalism. Social media influencers should be responsible, and not post fake news without any proof. Social media influencers should acknowledge their responsibilities and not propagate an opinion on personal likes and dislikes.

This responsibility is slightly higher for female celebrities who can be a role model for females who follow their opinion. They should have the courage to highlight issues that are beneficial for female and general public awareness, and they can highlight the importance of rising voices against injustices. The shame associated to talking about violence against women can be ameliorated through forming public opinion.

Above all, society, as a whole, should accept this as a grave issue. Everyone, especially women, should play their positive role to support their counterparts in battles that are already tough due to social stigmas. Victims of such crimes go through double distress; not only do they have to cope with the trauma of the incident but they also have to face the backlash of society. These victims need a strong social support system. It is high time shame was removed for such incidents to be openly discussed to find a solution. Unless we don’t highlight and talk about these issues, their prevalence, psychological manifestations, causes and remedies, we cannot find a solution of these issues. And the vicious cycle of exploitation will continue and affect many innocent lives.

The writer is a freelance contributor