Daily Times

Saqib was a student of electrical engineering in a private university of Islamabad. He was in his tenth semester; one day out of blue he took his life. According to reports repeated failure in a specific course dragged him into depression. He reached so deep in the abyss of hopeless that ending his own life seemed the only way of escaping the agony.

Unfortunately, it’s not just one such heartbreaking incident where a student committed suicide. Several Such events have been reported in the past. In February 2019 Yousaf Pirkani a third year medical student committed suicide after failing in exams. There was a report of three suicides only in KPK after announcement of intermediate results. It’s horrifying to imagine the amount of stress and depression these young students were inflicted upon that they surrendered their precious lives.

Academic institutes were meant to groom future generation, build their character and equip them with required skills and knowledge. But somewhere in the process of modernization and industrialization, students became raw material and educational institutions turned into factories for producing best quality market product. Students are simply made a part of the rat race for higher grades, exerting incredible pressure of expectations on their fragile minds. I remember a mother breaking into tears in a talk show and blaming a well-known school for traumatizing her daughter to such extent that she died of unbearable stress. Her daughter died of stroke. Causing factor as expressed by mother was immense pressure to complete assignments, projects and getting good grades.

Parents and extended family also contribute negatively to the frustrations and depression of youth by comparing their academic grades with siblings, cousins and even neighbors. Parents expect their kids to be best in manners, super performers in co-curricular activities and across-the-board toppers in academic exams. Students failing to produce desired academic results are repeatedly made to realize by parents and significant others that they are good for nothing, incapable and failure.

Young minds are faced with competing expectations from family, teachers, peer group and mesmerizing utopia named social media. Less physical activities, more individual time spent on social media, less interaction with family members, constant pressure to do more in academics from both family and teachers etc. all these factors are contributing to ever increasing loneliness and depression in youth. Once this stress gets unmanageable it translates into different reactions e.g. violence, criminal activities, drug abuse or social withdrawal. In extreme hopelessness these young minds even take their lives.

According to CDC 45,000 Americans took their lives by committing suicide in 2016 alone. In countries like Pakistan, due to unavailability of reliable data it is hard to give actual statistics but news reports do indicate an increase in reported cases of suicide

It is critical to know that people committing suicide don’t want to end their lives, actually they want to end the unbearable pain associated with depression. In developing country like USA suicide is among the top cause of death. According to CDC 45,000 Americans took their lives by committing suicide in 2016 alone. In countries like Pakistan, due to unavailability of reliable data it is hard to give actual statistics but news reports do indicate an increase in reported cases of suicide.

Suicide is not a psychological disorder; rather different psychological disorders predispose a person to develop suicidal thinking or to commit suicide. Threats of suicide should always be taken very seriously. If a person develops suicidal thinking, he/she can commit it at any time. There are few warning signs that many people exhibit before ending their lives. A person explicitly expresses that his life is worthless, painful and unworthy to be carried on. He might show fluctuation in appetite and sleep patterns. Taking risks with his life like reckless driving, extensive use of medicines or drugs etc. can also be a warning sign. Avoiding company, trying to distance from friends and family, becoming extremely silent or over talkative and becoming least concerned about own appearance are among common warning signs. Many people try to settle their matters before committing suicide like giving away their belongingness, paying visits to family and friends, writing a will. In few cases it is reported that a person struggling with depression for a significant time, suddenly becomes very calm and relax few days before sacrificing his life. It indicates that once a decision is made to end the perceived miserable life, that person becomes calm. If keenly observed, such warning signs can help to support someone in need and prevent suicide.

As parents it is important to ensure our young ones that we love them unconditionally and their happiness matters a lot to us. Carl Rogers coined the term “unconditional positive regards”, if we explore this term with reference to relationships, it means valuing a person for who he/ she is.

Kids should be assured that whatever happens, their love will never shake in the hearts of their parents. Parents should encourage their kids to share their tensions, anxieties and sorrows with them. Many researches have indicated that people having strong emotional support system are well-adjusted in their lives and have more positive outlook towards life.

We need to tell our kids that important thing is to learn and enjoy the process of learning. How sorrowful it is that what was meant to be a soul searching and personality development process, is becoming a cause of depression and learned helplessness for our youth.

The writer is a Director Programs & Projects at Rising Sun Education & Welfare Society