Daily Times

Dear Mathira & Rose,

My boyfriend has been cheating on me. I came to know about this right before Eid. He has been going out with this woman and sharing his personal videos with her, etc. She sent them all to me. I have not confronted him as yet as he’s abroad these days with his mother but is coming back in two days. I’m in a dilemma as we’ve been together for four years. Please advise.

Rose’s advice:

I’m so sorry to know that. When he comes back, sit him down, place all the evidence in front of him and talk to him. Ask him where you went wrong that he came out looking for someone else. Ask him if he wants to break up and why he cheated on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It all depends upon you whether you want to give him another chance or not. But do know that cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice. If he pursued that girl, he clearly made a choice of being involved with her. It’s not like it was a one-time thing, as he seems to have a relationship with her on the side. You don’t even know how many other side chicks he has other than her. This guy is clearly a cheat and is manipulative. You really need to confront him. You don’t deserve to be with a cheater so just move on. If he loved you, he wouldn’t have done this to you. When you love someone, you place their happiness before yours. He has played you. What you’re seeing now is his true face.

Mathira’s advice:

You shouldn’t be in a dilemma. If someone’s cheating on you, they’re cheating. This woman will face her karma. Any person who comes between a couple or breaks them up, is bound to face their karma. So, leave it to God. Send him the videos and write, “Thank you.” Don’t argue or ask questions. When someone is caught lying, it’s God’s way of opening your eyes and to make you see. Instead of being thankful to Allah, we fall into depression and in a dilemma. So thank God that you didn’t get married to him or had children and his reality came to you way before. Otherwise, you would’ve been a fool all your life. These men fool their wives for years at end. God saved you and made that woman a source for the ultimate exposure of your boyfriend’s reality. Relax and let it go. What’s done is done. Some people are made that way. They can’t help it. Don’t fight with someone who’s simply cheating on you and is doing nothing for you. If even after four years, he can’t regard you, then it’s time to leave him.

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