Daily Times

Even after the application many clichéd child psychology techniques, the modern teaching method, fancy books, and the extra efforts put in by parents, quite a number of youth turn out to be unsatisfied, frustrated and unhappy. Why has it become a common and a literal proverbial statement that “our kids have much more as compared to our times and yet more demanding and unhappy”? Although comparisons can neither figure out the issue nor solve it, the legendary saying of Imam Ali (AS) “Do not compare your children with your time as they are born for a different time” still holds tremendous relevance. Realities, era and norms are all fluid and subjective.

But the empirical evidence remains there. The ratio of depression in teenagers is on the increase. We talk of drug usage among the youth but do not try to figure out the core reason for it. It is like condemning a child on taking self-medication for an illness, but not taking him or her to the doctor for treatment. Brushing an issue under the carpet just makes it worse. According to Dr Darya Khan of Sir CJ Institute of Psychiatry, out of the nine million drug addicts in Pakistan, 2 million are between the ages of 15-25. According to him, those children who smoke or drink in teenage are at the highest risk of becoming drug addicts. Although the mafia and the big guns are the real hands behind this accessibility of drugs but that leaves the out question of why youth indulges in drugs in the first place.

The youth from affluent background are getting inclined towards drugs. No matter how hard we deny that but, like every society, ours also works on symbolic interaction and meaning. For the youth, their peer group carries tremendous symbolic value for them. The approval and disapproval of the peer group means the world to them. What they see as a big problem might be a trivial issue to us, but then perception is a shadow.

Plato the father of Greek philosophy gave the deep and mystic concept of the cave. When a prisoner can see nothing more than a wall of the cave, he will see the shadows drawn on the wall through some object as actual figures. He will not know it’s a shadow. To him this entire world is a shadow. The very same concept applies to the youth. A tiny issue at their age seems to be the entire world to them. Perception is subjective; it is a matter of situation. So without being judgmental it can be validated.

The main causes defined by specialists for drug usage are many but I am mentioning few of them here. To begin with, drugs are used to clear out painful memories. These memories could be emotional or physical. As we live in a country where it is objectionable to talk on child abuse and rape but there is no objection on this crime, especially if incest is involved. The emotional dependency and then failure in relationship again since it’s a taboo topic results in escaping as the only solution.

Actually being a hypocrite is okay as long as one is putting up a good act. One sin that is unforgivable is talking from the heart. The closed approach and not validating those issues and problem leads to escapism. Many find escape in drugs.

The visit to a doctor is fine but a visit to a psychiatrist has to be done in silence, a secret not to be leaked out. Depression is an illness and needs to be cured but again there is a prescription for all mental ailments. Many have a higher stress level, post or pre-menstrual depression, mental suffering and many other issues. Instead of counselling and guidance they find solace in drugs.

The feel good factor of drug usage is also an element. People hook on to a certain drug or medicine because it makes them feel better. Often they are born with chronic pain issues, but certain drugs put them on ease. They rationalise to get along with it to the extent of being addicted. Our consumerist society is functioning on the symbols and illusions of looking rich and very elite. Every body is in the race and so is the youth, who think that if drugs are the next “in thing” and they are compulsory part of a rocking party then they should rather go for it.

Neither we discuss these issues with our kids at home nor we consider it worth discussing. What to wear on the school parent’s day is an important issue, but what your child will be facing at senior school is not important. To watch a movie is okay but to tell that all the drunk characters in the song video was were just fictional is not worth discussing at family table. Class orientations are compulsory but the hazards of drugs and their presence in campus is shunned by the most educated people of society — even the educationist themselves.

Counselling is available but going to a counsellor is not the right thing. We are doing a lot to please the kids yet they are unhappy. But then while we are doing a lot we forgot about boundaries and gratitude. We had put a fictitious picture around; one has to get approved by those standards. Probably putting the wrong weight at the wrong foot hurts the most. So if we think materialistic things will lead to happiness and gratitude then one is in the wrong compartment.

Setting up the right goals and acceptance to changing social phenomenon will lead to a solution. If the topic of depression, stress, fear of failure, peer pressure and a broken emotional relationship remains on the deleted chat bin of the kid’s phone then drugs will also find a way from that secret chat window. The presence of depression, anxiety and lack of happiness in a number of our youth is the reality. Other reality is the presence of drugs in campus. But the worst reality is that neither the campus authority wants to talk about it nor the parents want to accept that their kids are addicted to drugs or getting addicted.

The scariest part is that the ratio of drug use in youth is increasing like a fire in the jungle. There is neither a collective effort nor a community effort. Hide and then never seeking the truth seems to be our favourite national game. We are willing to pay any price for this prejudice. As in the words of Aldai E Stevenson, “A hypocrite is like a politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then would mount the stump and make a speech on conservation.” The story of pied piper is a true depiction of our society. The mayor of the city and citizens were liars and the children had to pay the price. They vanished with him and were never seen again.

The writer is a children’s rights activist and a former educationist. She can be reached at nabiha.shahram@gmail.com