Daily Times

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself” – Jim Morrison, American singer and song writer

All living beings need a soul mate. The need is not unique to humans, animals and plants too require some form of companionship. This enables them to share their emotions and thrive. There have been many examples of withering plants responding to a caring individual’s whispers. Wild beasts have been seen lying timidly at the feet of loving humans.

Being in the company of friends is a blessing. We cannot choose our relatives because we have no control over our birth but we do have the option of selecting our friends, who may or may not by our blood relations. As the famous saying goes, “a man is known by the company he keeps.” Another interesting quote is: “When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.” Indeed, friends reflect our personality, our style, our thinking and our choices in life.

One can have many acquaintances. Not all of them have to be the friends one is willing to share one’s secrets with. After a mother, perhaps the only person who can bear our tantrums or idiocy without passing a judgements is a friend. There is always the need for a confidante who can absorb our negativity and support us against all odds to help us pass through a tumultuous phase in life. There are so many occasions when a person can break down on account of a personal tragedy, a career setback, financial loss, terminal illness or a deceiving partner. In these situations only a good friend comes to one’s rescue and helps one overcome the grief and the hurt.

A sincere friend remains with you throughout your ups and downs in life, through thick and thin, and prevents you from indulging in harmful activities. Those who appear hand in hand with anyone involved in nefarious activities are hypocrites and not honest buddies

Birds of a feather, flock together. At every stage in our lives we seek the friendship of our peers. As children, the company of other children is what we yearn for because it is easier for us to share the exuberant vitality that is the hallmark of childhood. Likewise, teenagers prefer moving in the circle of other teenagers, sharing the pangs of adolescence which ‘adults hardly ever seem to comprehend’. The same goes for mature men and women for whom it is difficult to comprehend the outbursts of youngsters.

The level of understanding between two friends is such that no matter how much time passes without meeting, they remain friends and connect effortlessly at the next encounter. Within a few seconds, they can bridge the gulf of sometimes months, years and even decades. There is no inkling of long periods of separation nor any complaints of losing touch – only joy and delight on revitalizing friendship. The reunion has the same element of excitement that existed before parting. This is the power of true friendship.

A sincere friend remains with you throughout your ups and downs in life, through thick and thin and prevents you from indulging in harmful activities. Those who appear hand in hand with anyone involved in nefarious activities are hypocrites and not honest buddies. This also applies to flatterers and those who seem to fan a friend’s ego with falsehood. They have vested interests and selfish objectives and are there only temporarily and disappear at the very first sign of a tragedy hitting their friend.

No matter how old and tattered we get, how sickly we feel, how lethargic our movements may become, the child within always waves back at us and tickles our soul to sometimes behave and say things that befit an unassuming kid. When this happens, only close friends have the forbearance to appreciate and smile. Others may frown and pass acrid comments. Many scholars, senior officers, priests, intellectuals, men of letters, professors, and serious looking people are simply unrecognizable when they are in the company of their soul mates. The mischievous streaks, ably restrained by walls of forlorn exteriors gush out like spillways of strong dams.

Life is often likened to a journey that takes us along different pathways. If one is blessed with good chums, the journey becomes easier even if the road is fraught with obstacles or unpleasant turns. Friends lessen the pain of tragedies which are plentiful and enhance the joy of those pleasurable moments which are of course comparatively fewer. When people shun you due to your failures, true friends lend you their ears to vent out your frustrations. Thus friendship is an important medium that blocks the doors leading to a mental asylum.

It has been said that “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction, both are transformed.” Students of science know that when two substances do not combine chemically, each element retains its qualities. On the other hand, when combine chemically, they turn into a compound with altogether new characteristics. Friendship is a compound resulting from the transformation of two individuals. It is accompanied by care, love and positivity.

Of all the relations, friendship is perhaps the best. It transcends all artificial boundaries and gives both parties pleasure as well as hope for a lasting association. It takes time and effort to nurture this connection but once it is established, there is no end to the happiness that sprouts as a result. In the words of Aristotle: “Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.”

The writer is a lawyer and adjunct faculty at Lahore University of Management Sciences