Daily Times

Life is full of seasons likewise many relationships are seasonal as well. No matter how much time and love we invest, some things have got to go.

Whether their love turns cold or they find somebody else, we can easily catch a lying partner. A dying romance is evident when their eyes do not look at you with admiration and their hugs feel forced. Once things become obvious, it’s a mistake to keep prolonging a dead relationship as it needs a grave. People can be miserable together if the love factor is absent in their relationships. Every day feels like an episode of ‘Man vs Wild’ at Guantanamo Bay. Whether it’s a love affair or a marriage, you can’t force love out of a dead relationship. Relationships only work on two most popular ingredients – love and understanding.

If things haven’t worked out for you and you find yourself struggling to move on, here are some tips to get you back on track and remember, no one’s worthy to be harmed for.

KEEP YOUR DISTANCE — even if the relationship ended on a good note, if you still have emotional attachment with the person, it’s wise to not stay in touch. Cutting all ties and even blocking the person on all social media is a first step. It’s for your own peace of mind. We remain anxious when we keep looking back at something that hurt us. There’s no need to stalk an ex and endure unnecessary mental torture. Move away from what hurt you. There’s no need to act cool around an ex, because as long as you still have feelings, the whole idea becomes a nightmare.

DESTROY THE MEMORY — sounds brutal, but we have to take measures to protect our own sanity. Just like how Geet from ‘Jab We Met’ suggested Aditya to burn the picture of his ex and flush it down the toilet, it’s an important step to discard things that remind you of him/her. Pictures, cards, letters, gifts: alt-control-delete! You can only carry out the following step once you’re serious about moving on. It’s a vital step. Moving out of a toxic environment is beneficial for our own health and peace.

DON’T TAKE THAT CALL — your ex will knock your door again. They always come back. In order to undo the silly, unending hamster wheel race, you got do things you could never do before – ignore. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, but if you don’t will to be out of this maze, then no one can help you. Don’t let them keep running back to you after their mistake. You’re not a rehabilitation centre and never allow yourself be counted as a second choice. There’s no such thing as closure, who are you fooling anyway? Most times, there are no last words. Things are better left unsaid around someone who had a habit of misunderstanding all the love given.

DECK YOURSELF UP — take care of yourself. Join a gym, be more active and socialise. Change your stinking outfit and take some time alone. Re-discover yourself. Find your agenda on this planet and follow your path. Stop wasting time crying over what hurt you and abandoned you. Heart breaks can be painful, but you have to take care of yourself for you. Live the famous quote: No matter how you feel, dress up, show up and never give up!

TO EMBALM THE PAIN — take the help of nature, music, books, travel, art and prayer to repair yourself and the best balm ever is time. Just like Coldplay warned us all, “Nobody said it was easy”, our past and mistakes become our best teachers in life. If they never saw your worth, don’t go ahead and make the same mistake. All this pain will someday subside, but never devalue your own life: know your worth then add tax!

STOP LOOKING — most people hop into a new relationship hoping that it would fix the pain, but that is a nightmare formula. This delays your own internal healing. When people resort to a fling or a new relationship right after a breakup, without fixing themselves emotionally, chances are that the new found love will also be a huge mistake.

The writer can be reached at zarimua@gmail.com