Take it or leave it!

Dear Mathira and Rose

I have been married for five years and have two kids, a four year old son and a three year old daughter. My husband and I were friends before we got married and I was aware that he drank and occasionally took drugs. But over the last few years, the occasional became habitual and now he is addicted. After many tantrums and threats, he finally admitted to having a problem but refuses to undergo therapy, saying that his reputation will be ruined and he will be branded as an addict. I have tried explaining that it’s his health and our children’s future that matters, not what people think, but to no avail. How do I convince him that he needs professional help and soon? Trapped Soul

Rose’s advice:

If your husband’s drug habit has spiralled out of control, try confiding in a close family member, preferably an elder. This kind of behaviour has a toll on the children badly affects them. I would suggest that you force him to undergo rehab. Make him understand that addiction is a sickness that needs proper treatment and it does not matter what people think and if not properly treated, his addiction will go from bad to worse.

If you want sisterly advice on any Issue give me a shout @rosemohammed90

Mathira’s advice:

When a person is addicted to drugs he/she do not want to admit it and therefore find reasons to go back and excuses for not seeking help. If your husband refuses to see a therapist or undergo rehab, you can try suggesting couples’ therapy as an alternative. But your husband has to realise that he has a problem and you have to draw a line in the sand. Be clear and firm with him that either he gets clean or you leave. Trust me it’s better to raise your kids alone than in a toxic relationship.

If you want sisterly advice on any Issue give me a shout @IamMathira

Published in Daily Times, February 19th  2019.