Comedy of errors

Author: Ummar Ziauddin

Sometimes during the sleepy hours of another mundane afternoon in the outskirts of Islamabad on October 26; a cow of an internally displaced family, dared to graze in an encroached space adjoining a palatial farmhouse — which the rich neighbour; who after barrage of second, third, fourth… and afterthoughts was belatedly picked up in the federal cabinet, claimed to be his own. Some of us have inflated sense of entitlement but this is a small digression. A cow disturbing peace and damaging property as claimed; this event of itself and the drama that has followed since, is stuff of legend.

After a trespass to property (title established on claim by the minister) by the cow that acted as an agent of a twelve years old boy, a heated exchange took place with guards of the minister, who then threatened that they would devour the cow to teach poor neighbours a lesson. This feud does not stop there.

The poor neighbours need to be fixed, thought the recently crowned minister and his son, who in their wisdom decidedly sought to lodge a first information report (FIR) against the displaced family but faced delay on account of red tapism. As per the minister’s own version, he called up no less than an Inspector General Police, Islamabad, thirty-eight times, to force the law enforcement into action. But that is not harassment, it is the police chief’s duty to take all such calls even if he is out of country on an official visit.

Little has changed in the past century or so about our style of writing FIRs. Narration of facts in the reports generally tread a thin line between facts and fiction. That’s the beauty of magical realism, Gabriel García Márquez would cry. But that hardly serves criminal justice system. A criminal complaint or report serves the basis of investigation into a crime and case theory of the prosecution. If it is borderline fictitious and goes un-challenged, which is usually the case, it results in grave miscarriages of justice with the innocent suffering conviction and long sentences or determinations on guilt pending trial for years, which again is mostly the case.

A harmless act on a lazy afternoon has resulted in an embarrassing fiasco for the government. The minister, whose political career now hangs in the balance, may confess when the dust settles

The narration of facts detailed by the son of the minister in the report, takes an unnecessary dig at the ethnicity of the poor neighbours and then goes on to state, without qualification, that all the trees were destroyed in the garden of farmhouse by one cow. It further mentions that the poor displaced neighbours, with eight accomplices, then snatched the Kalashnikov with loaded magazine away from the guards of the minister — without any provocation (brandishing of assault rifles does not constitute provocation?).

In an interview to a private channel, the minister spoke of his unspeakable grief and claimed that the poor neighbours had threatened to blow up the entire farm house with bombs — which they incidentally live next to.

Although this fact is not mentioned in the report with Shahzad Town police station but it is completely understandable that such a threat was made because, you know, he said so and since the poor neighbours are displaced IDPs from Bajaur, so it goes without saying, that they blow themselves up for the fun of it!

What happened to the police chief? He was transferred on verbal orders of the Prime Minister on October 27, as admitted by his Attorney General before the Chief Justice, who had taken the suomotu notice of his transfer and suspended the order on October 29. Are we surprised that the police chief was transferred on verbal orders or that the apex Court had taken cognizance of the matter in its original jurisdiction? Your call!

The ruling party, to this very day, continues to defend the decision of the transfer in such hasty manner, which was effectuated in gross violation of the jurisprudence developed by the superior Courts. By doing so, they argue for the civil service reforms. Fair enough, but based on the merits of this case? I am surprised they don’t see the irony of their position. The decision to transfer the police chief undermines and contradicts the long-held position by the premier on independence and meritocracy of and in civil service. It was a bad decision when it was made, possibly without complete facts and partial story of the minister. It is a bad decision now with nearly all the facts out in the open.

The Court, perhaps irked by the presence of the minister, during its proceedings on October 31, turned inquisitive on him and requisitioned the details of his assets with directions to probe into why he can’t, if at all, travel to the US. On that day of hearing, the minister was not required to show up. Talk of being suicidal here! And he is not even from Bajaur!

Then on November 2, a JIT was constituted, the compromise reached between the parties was spurned and the Court asked the minister to resign — among other things.

A harmless act on a lazy afternoon has resulted in an embarrassing fiasco for the government. The minister, whose political career now hangs in the balance, may confess when the dust settles, like Aegeon: “Yet, that the world may witness that my end. Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence.

The writer attended Berkeley and is a Barrister of Lincoln’s Inn

Published in Daily Times, November  5th 2018.

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