Daily Times

Certain qualities are generally considered most desirable in human beings. These are universally accepted and no single community or nation, no matter which region it belongs to, can deny this fact. Poets have eulogized them, writers have moralized them, sermonizers have topicalized them, philosophers have elucidated them, parents and teachers have taught them, yet one observes that they easily become a subject of mockery. The general air of hypocrisy prevalent in the world is so rampant that anyone seen to be blessed with one or all of these attributes is eyed with suspicion, made to look like an outcast and spoken of with derision as if he is someone who belongs to another world. Most of the major monotheist religions as well as certain ideologies unanimously agree that some characteristics are purely meant for the Al-Mighty and no human being should try to adopt them as it would imply arrogance which befits only God.

Modesty and loyalty united, give birth to a human being who is capable of spreading the message of humanity-something which is losing its meaning in a world that is getting more and more materialistic with each passing day. There is nothing wrong in improving one’s finances but when done at the expense of others, can prove highly detrimental. However, this realization does not take place until it is too late. Anyhow, the question is that why should there be a need to under-rate or devalue modesty and loyalty by glorifying those who lack these attributes or who shun them in order to become rich and famous. A good example would be the beauty queen pageants held regularly where beautifully sculptured human dolls are paraded in immodest attire to win the title and crown, accompanied with a heavy bank balance. Whatever maybe the underlying idea behind these shows, the message that is sent across to the modestly dressed women is quite emphatic. Having said this, the term ‘modesty’in the normal parlance is mostly restricted to the way a woman dresses even though its principal idea is in the humility professed by a man or woman.

A modest person is one who has the knowledge of his extraordinary natural and acquired gifts but refrains from boasting and boisterously talking about them. He understands the value of his intellect, wealth or sophistication but does not openly or ostensibly displays it. He puts himself in the background while egging on others and others’ interests take precedence over his own. In today’s world we live in an identity-addicted society where we showcase ourselves to gain fame and cheap popularity. Through social media we accentuate the best in us by boasting about our achievements, relationships, experiences, feelings etc.Anyone who is not that candid about himself is termed as an introvert or is seen as someone who lacks the qualities that could make him stand out. Such persons are usually ignored and hardly mentioned in conversations because of which they always seem to take a back-seat no matter how capable they may be compared to the haughty lot. Here, modesty is less of a virtue and more of a disadvantage.Even the television talk shows are full of conceited opinionists whose main aim is to belittle other participants and prove their own competence. Humility and modesty are not their hallmarks.

Those who are able to manipulate and carve out an empire for themselves through all kinds of lawful and unlawful means are given a high stature in the society. We have many examples where there is open admission of using dishonest and cunning tactics to first hoard wealth and then turning to doing good deeds in an attempt to atone for all the wrong-doings. Such persons are easily forgiven.Rather they are held in esteem as honourable icons whose multitude acts of kindness and generosity overshadow their crimes. They are given extraordinary importance whereas their counterpart who may spend his entire life in truthfulness and honesty may have to live from hand to mouth due to absence of ‘cleverness’ in managing his affairs. Privation of ruthlessness prevents him from subverting other’s rights for his own benefit because of which he may never be able to attain material success. For all practical purposes, the society would deny him the respect he deserves while the cunning may be crowned and applauded.

The younger generation must be taught modesty, humility and loyalty by none other than the parents who bring them into this world

Similarly, loyalty is also gradually being dwarfed by among other things, self-interest, intolerance and lack of adherence to a particular ideology, faith or the country. Love for one’s roots has been overpowered by material desires which could persuade one to betrayal or resort to corruption or flee to greener pastures. Thus, money laundering, deliberate evasion of taxes, scheming in connivance with enemies, refusing to do one’s assigned duties, violating the established laws are some of the acts that reflect faithlessness to one’s country. Those who perform their functions honestly, faithfully and, remaining sincere to their motherland stand up to defend its laws, are viewed with raised eyebrows and made to look as if they are pretentious or just trying to act smart. The more one enthusiastically behaves like a true patriot, the more one is ridiculed and made to look like a fool for being loyal to his country.

Another area of concern is the fast degenerating institute of marriage. Loyalty requires not only fidelity but the ability to bear with the weak aspects of one’s spouse whether it is husband or the wife. These days, divorces are on the increase just because minor issues are converted into serious conflicts by blowing them out of proportion instead of ignoring them to move on and create a sense of security for continuing the union. The element of forbearance or tolerance which springs forth from loyalty is on the decline because of which families are breaking up, children’s lives are rendered miserable, complications creep in on account of subsequent marriages in addition to various mental disorders that the affected suffer from and the hardships that ensue as a result of long drawn legal battles.

The younger generation must be taught modesty, humility and loyalty by none other than the parents who bring them into this world. There is no need for academic sessions to learn these invaluable traits because if the parents practically display these attributes as a matter of routine, the children will automatically follow in their footsteps.

The writer, lawyer and co-author of many books, is Adjunct Faculty at Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS)

Published in Daily Times, October 21^st 2018.