Daily Times

There can be no two opinions about a mind at ease being more capable compared to one that is tense and full of anxiety. Where thoughts are scattered, especially in the negative sense, it would be foolish to expect someone to be focused as well as productive. The potential of the human mind is infinite in terms of power and usage as proclaimed by many researchers. In order to unlock these features it is essential to have peace of both heart and mind otherwise, one could easily drift towards negativity and destruction as in the case of criminals or revenge seekers, who display exceptional intelligence. The myth that during our lifetime we use only a fraction of our brains has been refuted by brain-imaging researches which show that the entire brain is active and there are certain chemicals which can boost its ability to remember, process information or be alert. These studies will go on forever but the fact remains that a healthy body houses a healthy mind and a healthy mind will consequently produce healthy ideas.

We all have a set of complaints regarding people who may have deliberately or inadvertently hurt our feelings, created problems in our lives, destroyed our careers, hurled obstacles in our way, caused us deprivation, disrupted our peace, changed the course of our lives for the worse, snatched someone or something precious from us and what not. The main concern here is how do we deal with them. Either we react by taking revenge, withdraw silently into our shell or simply forgive and forget. Forgiveness may appear to many as a concept related to high moral grounds preached by religions but a wealth of research suggests that we should adopt it in our daily lives because it holds many health benefits.

Forgiveness requires a conscious application of mind to let go of resentment or vengeance toward someone who has actually or purported to have caused us harm. However, according to the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley “it does not mean having to forget or condone the wrongdoing committed against you. Fortunately, forgiveness is cultivatable — and can be practiced through different strategies, including developing empathy, looking for the silver linings and properly expressing your feelings.”

It is very difficult to forgive our adversaries but the ill effects of abstaining from forgiveness can become obvious in terms of one’s health and overall quality of life

There are two types of forgiveness practiced by the people — conditional where it is dependent upon apology and unconditional. According to a study conducted in 2011 and published in the Journal of Behaviourial Medicine, the former type may be more likely to die earlier compared to the latter. Going on to explain this further, the Luther College researchers say that apologies can help to move the forgiveness process along, but if “sorry” is a necessary condition for forgiveness, “then there will likely be fewer instances of forthcoming forgiveness for that individual.” The reason given is that: “This is due simply to the fact that those who cause an offense will not always fulfil such conditions, regardless of their appropriateness, and the offended party does not have the power to make them occur.”

It is very difficult at times to convince people to forgive their adversaries but it must be emphasised that ill effects of abstaining from forgiveness can become obvious in terms of one’s health and overall quality of life.

When people hold on to a grudge, they have higher physiological activity — facial muscle tension, heart rate, blood pressure and sweating. Not forgiving someone is associated with more anger, arousal, sadness and feelings of not being in control, according to a 2001 study in the journal Psychological Science. Therefore, forgiveness has a soothing effect on the body as it calms down the volatility of tension, anger, depression and fatigue.

Baylor University researchers have found that in case where one has himself been the perpetrator of a wrongdoing, there is a need to forgive oneself also. Hesitation from doing so is on account of deserving to feel bad about one’s offence.  Of course this is for those who admit their fault, forgive themselves, want to make amends and in the process, letting go of their guilt.

Those who forgive have been found to have improved their health as claimed by Amy Owen, Ph.D., of the Duke University Medical Center. Research presented at a 2011 meeting of the Society of Behavioural Medicine showed that people with HIV who practiced genuine forgiveness toward someone who had hurt them had higher CD4 cell percentages (considered positive for their immune status).

“We found that lifetime stress severity was unrelated to mental health for persons who were highest in forgivingness, significantly associated with poorer mental health for persons exhibiting moderate levels of forgivingness (having the trait of forgiveness), and most strongly related to poorer mental health for participants exhibiting the lowest levels of forgivingness,” say researchers from Luther College, University of California.

Although the Moses Code prescribes “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” many ideologies suggest adoption of a more forgiving path. To err is human and to forgive, divine. Benevolence knows no bounds and forgiveness helps calming one’s nerves and spirit. To live in tranquillity, the best way out is to overcome one’s ego, cool the fires for vengeance, let bygones be bygones, make new beginnings by forgiving others, and above all, forget and make peace with one’s self.

The writer, lawyer and co-author of many books, is Adjunct Faculty at Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS)

Published in Daily Times, August 26^th 2018.