Daily Times

Invidia is a Latin term from which the word ‘envy’ is derived and refers to an emotion born out of a person’s lack of superior quality, achievement or possession enjoyed by someone else that the envious either desires for himself or wishes the other person be dispossessed. Renowned philosophers have averred that envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness under the spell of which not only is a person rendered miserable but, in some cases, wants to inflict misfortune on others. Jalaluddin Rumi has declared envy to be a defect, worse than any other. All major religions of the world have been preaching against harbouring envious or jealous feelings for anyone, claiming it as a deadly sin. Such is the horrendous intensity of this particular sentiment which, by the way, is an inseparable part of human nature as is obvious from the very first crime of murder committed by Qabeel (Cain) on account of his jealousy for his brother, Hazrat Habeel (Abel), the heir apparent of the first prophet Hazrat Adam (AS). So, if anyone claims that he or she never gets jealous or envious of someone, there is surely an element of untruth in it.

The question is that if envy is an emotion inherently built in the human nature, then why make such a hue and cry about it, acclaim it as a deadly sin and preach to restrain from it? To my mind, even though envy is characterized by negativity, yet it has an incredible strength to transform the bad into good, the negatives into positives and disadvantages into benefits. The very fact that it lives in a person’s nature is a sign that one is alive, has potential to move ahead and make one’s life and surroundings better. Lack of envy on the other hand can cause dullness, inactivity and result in an introverted personality whereby a person loses interest in life and spends time in slumbering. Envy could be likened to electricity, which has the power to simultaneously revive a dying man or kill a living and the pulses it generates, is life-line for the world. I am not a psychologist but by sharing these feelings I want to be able to tame that green eyed monster that could be nesting somewhere in my soul.

In this world we have innumerable persons in as many situations which cannot all be mentioned in these lines but there are certain dispositions that trigger off envy. Dr. Seth Myers, a practicing clinical psychologist, has noted at least seven.

Wealth can cause friendships to sour if one has access to plenty of disposable money, while another needs to struggle for day to day survival. Marked differences between living standards of couples, families or communities due to financial prowess, may result in comparisons drawn with malicious intensity by persons placed on much lower levels.

The question is that if envy is an emotion inherent to human nature, then why make such a hue and cry about it, call it a deadly sin, and preach restraint against it?

Romantic partners enjoying a blissful life could attract the envy of a friend who may have had the misfortune of a broken relationship or no relationship at all if this is a priority in his/her life. There may be contemplations about one’s own lack of self-esteem, looks, job, money, etc. causing severe depression.

Fertility can be an extremely provocative trigger for envy in friendships between women.For example, woman A easily gets pregnant while woman B remains unsuccessful despite undergoing many years of fertility treatments. According to Dr. Seth, “We love our friends, of course, but we love meeting our own needs more. What’s more, we usually can only feel genuinely happy for someone else once wealreadyfeel happy for ourselves.”Misery gravitates toward company, and if B cannot get pregnant, there is a tiny part of her (the envious part) that would feel comforted if her friend A could not, either.

Beauty is a trait desired by many especially during the early adult years. One looks at awe on an attractive person although we believe in our hearts that beauty is short-lived and one’s character and achievements are more endearing. Nonetheless, individuals with ordinary looks often magnify their shortcoming in this area and tend to envy attractive friends considering them to be more fortunate.On a lighter note, this envy has been instrumental in making plastic surgery a flourishing industry bringing in loads of money for the experts in this field.

Says Dr. Seth, “While some overweight men and women don’t let their weight affect them much, most overweight individuals I work with feel that their weight negatively impacts much of their daily lives.” So, when over-weight people have slim and smart friends, there could lurk a desire to see them over-weight or sullenly bear their own obesity.

We do not typically envy our friends’ professional success unless we see them making more money, specifically in the case when it is the same profession. This is more obvious in hierarchical jobs where one person gets promotion, is awarded with recognition or is given better assignments. The ones denied these privileges or left behind maybe inclined to feel envious while the malicious may secretly try to undermine their achievements.

In recent times social media have taken today’s world with a whirlwind where self-portrayal in multiple forms has become the fad giving rise to powerful feelings of envy.According to Dr. Seth this makes sense, as individuals select photos of themselves with their loved ones, at their happiest-frolicking during vacations, social events or festivals and then broadcast to the world. The study found that if Facebook users experience envy of the activities and lifestyles of their friends, they are much more likely to report feelings of depression(Tandoc, Ferrucci, & Duffy, 2015).

At its root, envy is about inducing individuals to compete with others and navigate through life’sups and downs. The bottom line is that the more one feels satisfied with different aspects of one’s life there are lesser chances of being envious and greater possibilities of admiring others.

The writer, lawyer and author, is an Adjunct Faculty at Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS).

Published in Daily Times, August 11^th 2018.