Daily Times

I often wonder the level of hypocrisy that we the people of the “Land of the Pure”, exhibit. The Western values are often criticized, carte blanche and the absence of morality in Western societies is derided with utmost disdain. For a person like me, who has seen both ends of this moral spectrum, it is often very troubling. We often flaunt our moral superiority based on our religion and what we broadly term as our Eastern and at times Islamic values.

In reality, in most cases, it is concealment and in plain words, deceit, which is wrongly labeled as “respect” or “regard.” This dichotomy has always bothered me. Why we do certain things in a weird round robin way? But whether it is moral, religious or national segments, we shamelessly flaunt our prowess, to give ourselves a boost of false sense of “superior values.” What I may say further, may offend or infuriate a few or perhaps a lot, but what the heck.

A young man will quickly extinguish a cigarette in front of an elderly family member, and carry on puffing, as soon as the family member vanishes from their sight. The age old excuse for this quick maneuver, is the “respect for the elders.” Knowing the hazards of inhaling cancerous tobacco smoke, people would carry on,while disrespecting their own body and life. This one is personal, as like many others, I was guilty of this offense, for a few years of my youth as well. May God bless my mother a million times, who in a simple sentence, indirectly conveyed a line, which hit me instantly on many levels and compelled me to unshacklemyself from this nuisance.

How often you see families, not making much of an issue, when a young man is involved in any emotional or for that matter physical relationship, at the young age. Families take pride, that a boy will be a boy and the man is supposed to express his manhood in whatever way possible. Somehow, the Eastern standards are ignored completely, because after all the young man has to explore. God forbid, if a young girl dares to possibly explore a suitable match on her own, the God forsaken honor comes like a venomous python to remind her of her limits.

If the soaps on the tube, that I so fervently abhor, are any indication, polygamy is pretty much the “in” theme. Bring a man and add a number of often desperate and dependent women to the mix and you have a template of 20 plus episodes full of tears and suggestive scenes, which pass our moral barometer.My personal views aside, this very sadly is, a reflection of the overall society. You can only peddle such fantasies, provided there are buyers for such sordid sagas.

So long as there is a document providing the so called legitimacy, the exploitation of women is deemed an acceptable norm in the society. The followers who wear the religion literally on their face, be it male or female, very conveniently ignore the commandment or condition precedent of the Holy Scripture.The condition that categorically requires “equal treatment” of all four spouses in a simultaneous wedlock. But so long as the display of religiosity is acceptable and this exploitation happens under thatwrap, people are all kosher with it.

When confronted with logical arguments, that polygamy which was practiced in the days of Prophet PBUH due to certain events and for protection of certain impacted women, is not what these times are about, it is met with a harsh resistance. The counter argument is presented that it is needed to curb adultery and the extra marital affairs. When containment of desires is brought up, the male chauvinism trumps every argument and the errant male desire is presented an uncontrollable beast.

If you were to peek behind the curtain, you will get a gush of disgust. The pervasive culture of doing everything that would be a polar opposite to the societal norms will greet you with an embrace. Drugs, Alcohol and Adultery, that are considered the hallmark of Western culture are quite abundant on our end. Before some puritan jumps up and down beating their chest and squarely blaming the evil west for their shameless values, allow me to remind the presence of courtesans in our very chaste and respectful culture.

No matter how you compare the two cultures have a lot in common. The western world is expressive and open about a lot of such things, where we take refuge in the guise of so called eastern values. I am not a social scientist, nor some sort of preacher. I am an extremely ordinary mortal, who finds our moral pride quite superficial and honestly very hollow.

I would part with this thought here. If you ever want to meet the ugly devil, just walk up to your nearest mirror. It resides in our eyes. How often have you met, seen or heard of a blind person, who is a murderer, rapist, terrorist or for that matter an adulterer?

The writer is a Pakistani-US mortgage banker. He can be reached at dasghar@aol.com. He tweets
at http://twitter.com/dasghar