Daily Times

Sir: Two years after her death, I see very little mention of the slain social media star. It just goes to show that Pakistanis forget their dead fairly quickly. Where are the remembering Qandeel posts? The heinous manner in which she was killed is still fresh for many of us who were frozen in our tracks when she died.

For those who may have forgotten, Qandeel’s brother killed her in cold blood. He claimed it was for honour, but in reality, anyone with half a brain could see that it was not his own honour that he was trying to protect, but that of a certain religious figure.

In life, Qandeel was bold, unashamed and unapologetic about how she lived. When I think about it, I wish I had the kind of courage that she did to live my life exactly the way I wanted. Unlike her, however, most people — the majority if anything — are stuck putting up with the status quo that beats us all down. A lot of people will interpret my word in a typical Pakistani manner: “Oh you want to be like Qandeel, you want to be naked? You want your brother to kill you?”. And this would be nothing new since I have had people say this to me anytime I have taken her side by even a flicker, let alone gone with it full swing.

But that’s not what I mean. Qandeel was brave, where we are always afraid. Qandeel broke the mould where all we can do is nod along. Qandeel did not give a hoot about the personal status quos that haunt people — the very ones that keep us shackled. To be like Qandeel does not mean to mimic her. To be like Qandeel, for me at least, means putting your foot down.

When life gave her lemons, she threw them back at life and did what she wanted to do — devil be damned. People tried to abuse her, and she returned the favour manifold. One religious “scholar” was at the receiving end of what happens when you try to cross her — but of course, she ended up paying with her life.

She left an abusive relationship behind, showed Pakistani what owning one’s own sexuality looked like, and supported her family — including the brother that murdered her.

When time came around for her death anniversary, I thought we would have more of a discussion, but it seems that whatever fanfare was attached to her death has since died. And it seems like the feminists who used her death to show the world how cool they were have forgotten her. Even the people that hated her can’t remember her. Election fever is running so high that people don’t care about anything more than Sharif and Khan and their circus.

Qandeel went down in flames and went against all of society — she preferred that over the coward’s way out. And I hope at some point I am able to replicate her strength and courage and take control of my life the way she took control of hers.

ANONYMOUS

Via E-mail

Published in Daily Times, July 17^th 2018.