Stigma of being a housewife

Author: Fatima Dabeer

With the revolutionary growth of feminism and woman coming out as bold and strong, the importance of housewives is deteriorating. Where all the women are talking about coming out of the comforts of their homes to compete with men in all fields of life, no one talks about the efforts of housewives. In the past, women were expected to stay home and run all the household errands, and those who wanted to work were often stigmatised. However, now in the modern world, it is the other way round.

The word has now got a negative connotation and is often associated with women who don’t want to work and would rather live off their partner. Most housewives are undervalued by their partners and by society at large. Across the world, women who stay home are now known to be old fashioned and an economic burden to the society. Their daily chores; cleaning, cooking and raising their children are neglected on national levels. With women competing men at economic and social levels, stay-at-home moms are valued way less. Housework has always been sore spot for all feminists and for all the stay-at-home mothers; it has never gained them adequate respect.

Across the world, women who stay home are now known to be old fashioned and an economic burden to the society

Do we really respect the women who do our household chores? Do we value them as husbands, children and a member of the society?

It is not only about the acknowledgment of the errands they run, but also how we all look down upon them, deprive them from the appreciation they deserve and the power to make decisions on their own. Edgell, a sociologists, claims that the female population is only dominated in the areas of interior decorations, domestic spending and children’s clothes; all considered to be insignificant. Marjorie L Devault talks about the invisible work done by the housewives; how they are concerned about every family member’s food preferences, their health and organizing the family to come together. In all these they lose their own preferences, desire, luxury time and relaxing hours. Jean Duncombe in her study found out that majority of the housewives are playing a major part in holding their relationships together by doing the crucial and tiring emotional work. It puts an emotional strain on them but it is a price that they pay to keep the family together.

Various celebrities and writers have presented their perspective on being a housewife. Annie Dillard says: “I’m a housewife: I spend far more time on housework than anything else.” Celine Dion claims: “I have become a housewife and there is no better job.” Tamara Braxton says: “I never want my kids to feel like I’m just some housewife, kicking it with my husband, because that’s not the kind of woman I am.” Martha Plimpton states: “I’m so sick of hearing how there’s no strong roles for women. I don’t care about strong roles. I just want to see women who are characters! A nun, a serial killer, a housewife, as long as there’s some depth there.”

Our mothers, sisters and daughters, all those who are housewives act as a sponge to soak all the tensions and problems to create our homes a safe haven. It is wrong of us to look at the housewives as lazy, unaware of the social world and degrading them for the immense amount of work they perform from just the four walls of our homes. It is said that it is the duty of the man to maintain the financial stability of the house, in the same way men and children are dependent on the housewives for stability in domestic life, family bonding and mental peace. They should be equally credited as a woman doing a job outside the house. They deserve every ounce of acknowledgment.

Published in Daily Times, July 13th 2018.

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