Daily Times

More often than not, people are very well aware of the concept of bullying. It is a common occurring for people from all walks of life and hence, almost everyone easily identifies someone in their life as a ‘bully’. Though, the thing is, bullying is not something that is necessarily obvious or open for one to see in hindsight. In this article, we’ll be discussing all the possible instances where one might be bullied but it cannot be identified; especially by an observer.

The concept of unidentifiable bullying is based on two facts; the first being that just because something cannot be seen doesn’t mean it isn’t there and the second being that just because one person believes something isn’t harmful, doesn’t mean everyone else will feel the same way. If you feel ‘attacked’ in any way whatsoever by someone’s actions or words directed towards you, it is bullying, whether they or anyone else agrees or admits to it or not.

The most known type of bullying is physical harassment, for example, a kid beating up another kid in school. This is ‘most known’ as it is something clearly visible as an occurring to an observer. But what if, instead of beating up another kid, someone simply states something that triggers or upsets the other kid. Now, what needs to be understood is that this ‘statement’ made by one kid to ‘bully’ the other kid, doesn’t necessarily have to be something perceived as negative or harmful by everyone in general.

Does the said bully know the kid they made the statement about has trouble gaining weight? If they do know so, then did they make the statement to bully the kid or with a completely different intention – to imply that they don’t need to gain weight as his body is perfect the way it is?

It might be something as simple as ‘you’re so thin’. A statement many might consider a compliment but to this particular kid, who has trouble gaining weight, it may seem like a highly rude comment. Furthermore, it is not just as simple as that. It isn’t unidentifiable bullying for just one reason. The other reason it is so difficult to identify whether such situations are really instances of bullying or not is because the intentions of said bully cannot be known just by observation and even if questioned, the true intentions can usually not be confirmed.

Another common form of bullying that isn’t often identifiable but is a common occurrence is sarcasm. The thing about sarcasm is that it can be used amongst a group of friends just to make harmless jokes or by someone in order to mask the verbal abuse they are directing towards someone else; and often the thin line between these two utterly distinct situations is very unclear, and hence, crossed subtly enough that no one but the two parties directly involved are able to identify it as bullying.

This form of bullying is similar to the one mentioned in the above paragraph in the sense that it is tough to decipher the intentions of the said bully. However, it is different in the sense that sarcasm, even if used as a way to get a laugh amongst friends, does always have at least an inkling of negativity attached to it and so, can more easily be labeled as bullying.

The list of ways one might be bullied hasn’t ended just yet. One more stance in which a person may be considered to be a victim of bullying is when someone talks to them in a harsh, loud or disrespectful tone. Yes, this is very vague statement as, parents, bosses and significant others etc often talk to one in such tones without it having any links to the concept of bullying. However, if 2 people who aren’t connected by any such relation are to interact and then one of them uses such tones, it should be considered as bullying but very rarely it ever is.

Such mannerisms while verbally communicating affect the subconscious in exceedingly bleak ways and should be avoided at all fronts. Identifying this form of bullying is more so just a matter of changing perception rather than anything else.

The last form of unidentifiable bullying that we are going to discuss is a little different than the rest. It is when the said bully has no intention whatsoever to bully the other person but yet unknowingly ends up doing so. This occurs on many fronts and the reason behind it is that the person being bullied in the situation has a mental health issue that forces him to believe that whatever words someone directs towards them is meant to hurt them. This often occurs in people with schizophrenia, high anxiety levels, diagnosed depression and many other mental health issues.

Many conclusions can be drawn from all of this. One being that even if we have no ill intentions we might be a source of bullying to someone so we should always be extra careful with our words. Another being that everything is not what simply meets the eye in this world. Hence, we need to research and think on in depth about everything in order to interpret more explicit information and then actively try to, if not eradicate, then lessen these major issues, such as bullying.

Published in Daily Times, July 13^th 2018.