Daily Times

I was never so acutely aware of my formative years until I turned 70. Instinctively, I had always tried to conceal my age, and whenever I was forced to tell it, I scrupulously lied about it by posing at least two years younger than my actual age. Retirement from service at the age of 60 was the only time when I could not conceal my actual age, and all through the farewell function held to bid me adieu, I behaved like an accused who, after much hide and seek, had at last surrendered before the police with full conviction of his guilt and its obvious consequences.

Even after that, I never felt that my journey through time had anything to do with my age, which for me had only meant a regular addition of one year to the previous year’s tally, without ever making any difference to me bodily or spiritually. In the bazaars and markets, I continued to be addressed as “bhaijan” or at worse as “chachaji” but never as “babaji”.  As if by instinct I am allergic to being branded as one of the “elderly” people because by the word “elderly” I come to identify myself with the old, infirm, hoary and wrinkled people of decrepit age I have been seeing all through the years of my childhood, youth and middle years.

In the bazaars and markets, I continued to be addressed as “bhaijan” or at worse as “chachaji” but never as “babaji”!

However, as much as one may try to avoid the ravages of age, it is bound to show its impact. As one reaches 70 and beyond, signs such as grey hair, deep wrinkles, stooped posture, slumped shoulders and a permanent frown on the face are enough to show that we are responding well to the design of the Almighty set for our future course. Even if by superficial means we try to look younger, they may avail us temporarily but not permanently. Often, if we save our exterior from showing the onslaught of age, we cannot wholly avoid the internal wear and tear in the body, which is bound to occur as a process of natural decay. In fighting against time, one’s star achievement is only in delaying old age by a few more years and not blocking it permanently, which is not possible. Old age has been compared to the waning moon while youth is likened to the blaze of noon.

It is a subject of deep psychology as to why men and women alike conceal their age or try to appear younger than they are. The probable explanation is that everybody wants to ward off the inevitable end by any number of years, months or weeks that one can convince others to believe in. This make-believe tactic has no other object but to keep one consoled and in good spirits. And partly, it is because one is impelled by one’s vanity to show that in trying to look younger one can show the world that one still has time to score greater victories in the years to come, which is nothing but an illusion.

In any case, the feeling of being young, healthy, fresh, and energetic certainly imparts you more pleasure than the feeling of being old, sick, sapped and worn-out. There is, therefore, all the more reason to be your own manager and take whatever measures you think are necessary to make yourself look young, happy and fresh. There is nothing wrong if you prune your whiskers and trim your moustaches so long as you believe that the act will cast you in a better light to the outside world.

It is said that 70 is the age when true disillusionment sets in. It is generally believed that at 20 a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is 70, he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he cannot. Therefore, in most cases, he is closer to the truth at 70 than he was when he was 20.

Does turning 70 mean that it is time to give up on living? Does it mean losing interest in the things that have so far been the source of passion and life? Does it mean that we are to be swept into the corner, and left to fade away in decay and death? We concede that there is no retreat from old age, but we also recognise that this time of life throws up a completely new possibility for learning and engaging in creative expression. If on the other hand, we accept the cultural stereotype of ageing without questioning it, then we accept defeat even before it had become due.

In fighting against time, one’s star achievement is only in delaying old age by a few more years. Old age has been compared to the waning moon while youth is likened to the blaze of noon

Old age is the real time when we must discover who we are. And 70 is the ideal age when we can robustly review all we have left behind when our energies are still intact, and our cognitive faculties are fully functioning. Maybe after another 10 or 15 years,the infirmities of age make it difficult for us to take clear perspectives of ourselves as we can do today.

I look at the 70s as a stage when wisdom and experience have mellowed our overweening youth. Now we understand that there are things that we can do, and there are things that we cannot do. This is the hard fact of life that we took 70 long years to learn.

How lucky and happy we are that our sons and daughters have their own sons and daughters, and the knowledge that now it is for them to deal with all the chores of child rearing while we are there to look on all their activities with amused delight.

What else do we need in life?

The writer is a former member of the Provincial Civil Service and is currently a freelance writer

Published in Daily Times, July 7^th 2018.