Daily Times

Our generation will be looked at as the generation that gave up on LOVE. We date, only, for the sake of dating; we are the generation that forgot how to love. What’s extremely sad is that most people don’t understand what love is, they just had a poor interpretation of it.

The most common trend amongst our generation is our need for instant gratification. We grew up in a culture that allows us instant access to anything. If we want food, we have it delivered with the click of a few buttons. If we are bored, we have endless distractions in the form of phone apps. If we need directions, or a question answered, it only takes us a couple of seconds to get the job done. Such sort of convenience is, entirely, a modern-day perk that previous generations never experienced anything close to. Love isn’t meant to be experienced in an instance, but in a lifetime.

We’ve built a culture driven by drugs and alcohol, which are the most common form of self-medication. When we feel sad or unhappy, we go out for a couple of drinks. When we’re stressed, or are unable to handle our lives, we may turn to more intense forms of substances. Of course, not everyone drinks alcohol and/or does drugs, but it is a fortifying trend amongst our generation.

We are social people. We believe, more, in meeting people than getting to know them. We’re greedy; we want ourselves to have everything. We get into relationships, and step out the moment we find someone better. Technology has brought us closer, so close that it’s almost impossible to breathe. Our physical presence has been replaced by texts, voice messages, Snapchats, and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together anymore. We have too much of each other already. There seems to be nothing left to talk about.

We have become more egocentric. It is true that every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think about our needs and ourselves first. Whether this is good or bad doesn’t really matter, but when we focus on ourselves, the needs of others in our community get overlooked. When this happens in a relationship, it all begins to fall apart.

We like to have things our way, always. And what the relationship often needs is for you to compromise, as long as you accept that compromises need to be made. Once we no longer accept that as a necessity, we will lose the ability to create a loving relationship.

We’re a scared generation – scared to fall in love, scared to commit, scared to get hurt, and scared to get our hearts broken. We don’t allow anyone in, nor do we step out and love anyone unconditionally. We, suddenly, cannot handle it. We don’t want to be exposed. We don’t want to bare our soul to anyone. We’re too guarded. We let go of the most wonderful people for ‘other fish in the sea’. We don’t consider people sacred anymore.

Most of us are really bad at loving. Love is confusing, changing over time, and changing with each new partner that we let into our lives. Love is so incredibly complex that most people simply haven’t been able to get a grasp of it at all. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is a reason to worry. The issue is if we don’t come to understand love well, its purpose, its boundaries, and its shortcomings, we will never be happy. The real question is: Are we getting better or worse at loving?

That’s a question I’m still not able to answer…

The writer is a student at Bahria University Islamabad, and tweets at @alisarmadkazmi@gmail.com

Published in Daily Times, June 28^th 2018.