Daily Times

It is often said that childhood experiences shape one’s whole life. Psychological studies prove that early life experiences are very important in terms of a person’s whole life behaviour. The mind of a child is the most fragile thing, and when we speak to them we are most probably developing their thoughts. When we are dealing with them, moreover, we definitely are formulating their behaviour and personality.

Yesterday, I was reading the news of a 5 year old girl who was raped and then murdered by someone. A “girl” who did not even know the meaning of gender. She did not even know that her body might be “fascinating” for a man in a way that would forget his humanity. She was only five years old, the age when a child is just starting to develop his or her perception on life.

Newspapers report a large number of similar cases, while many are not even reported. In many cases, the victims are not just girls but boys as well. Dealing with a child in such an inhumane way is the most evil thing. In most cases, the abuser identifies himself as ‘mentally sick’. This, for me, is not justified.

If a person plots such devious things with a proper plan, and is also smart enough to avoid getting caught or being punished, then he is completely in his senses. Yes, they are mentally sick and frustrated, but this can in no certain terms justify such heinous acts.

Children are most likely to be abused by someone they live with or someone they meet on a daily basis. The perpetrator could be a close relative as well

The person who sexually abuses a kid is most likely to be the person who lives with the child’s family or who has contact with the victim on a daily basis. Sometimes, the perpetrator might be a close relative as well. In most cases, the abuser convinces the child not to tell his or her parents.

In such situations, parents need to observe their kid’s behavior; if a child is showing resistance going with a specific “uncle”, then parents should take notice of this rather than convincing their child to spend time with him.

Some researchers say that a person who sexually assaults a child was most likely the victim of a similar experience in his childhood. The question then arises on how is it possible that a person who has gone through such a situation can do the very same thing with someone else?

Child abuse is not only about sexual molestation but is also about physically mistreating the child. If a person touches a child improperly or asks the kid to do so, it falls under child abuse. In such cases, kids are not aware of doing anything wrong. They also cannot judge that the person is doing something wrong to them, or sometimes they can, but are unable to describe such abnormal things to their parents or to their siblings.

To cope with such situations, parents should talk to their kids in an open environment and tell them the difference between a good, healthy touch and a bad touch. They should explain such things to their kids in simple ways with instructions for dealing with such situations.

Every parent must understand that engaging with their children on this topic is not inculcating in them advanced or unnecessary knowledge. Educating kids regarding what constitutes a healthy and a bad touch is the need of the time, and there should be no shame in dealing with this.

Children who are sexually abused suffer from a lot of behavioral disabilities. They try to harm themselves. They become aggressive and violent. They might exhibit eating problems and most importantly acquire knowledge and experience of things that are too advanced for their age. Such kids suffer a lot of mood swings and at times do not fit well in society.

The most crucial thing is the destruction of thinking patterns. These children adopt very negative attitudes towards life. Kids who are frequently sexually abused are more likely to have odd and aggressive sexual behaviors in their adult lives. They may indulge in sexual assault as revenge for their own experiences. In short, child abuse can destroy an innocent soul’s whole life.

Not only parents, but every member of society is responsible for protecting children. Any strange person or any inappropriate dealing with children must be punished and dealt with severely.

If a child suffers such an unfortunate incident, what does society need to do? Such kids need to be dealt with great care and caution. They might exhibit emotional or behavioral disturbances, so it is crucial that people around them not react negatively to their behaviour.

It is also important to engage with them so that they forget or at least do not think of such traumatising incidents. Staying silent and not dealing with the affected kid can lead to them facing many psychological issues. We must also shoulder the responsibility of preventing such incidents by educating our kids and by keenly observing events around us.

The author is recent graduate in mass communication from Punjab University. Her interests include writing on social issues, and she tweets at javeria_anam93

Published in Daily Times, June 2^nd 2018.