Daily Times

Neither death can be denied, noritcan be dodged, delayed or diverted. We have to welcome it whenever the door to eternity is opened, no questions asked. True, it sounds agonising and depressive. None the less,it can be made more peaceful, a little more commiserative. How? With the help of a caring family, a network of close friends and a conscientious society.

Realising that we head in the same direction, we must – despite our ideological, political or philosophical differences – empathise with people who get diagnosed with terminal illness and will soon depart this world. The question though remains: are we considerate enough, or does our innate incredulity trumps our decency yet again? I recognise we want to view ourselves as sensitive and compassionate human beings. The reality, however, depicts a different picture, a picture that displays our cruel, judgmental, insensitive and contemptible character.

Before we embark upon this issue further, let us walk through the ageing/dying process. With each passing year, we run the risk of developing chronic illnesses. Some will succumb to cancers, kidney diseases and lung problems, some fight heart conditions or strokes and some fall prey to diabetes and hypertension. According to a BBC survey published in 2017, the prevalence of just the Diabetes Mellitus is more than 25 percent, three times the national average of that in the United States. As a result, we can surmise millions among us will develop End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) along with coronary artery disease (heart attack), cerebro vascular attack (stroke) and congestive heart failure. On top of that, now add your risk of cancer-based on gender, family and personal histories or factor in the likelihood of contacting Tuberculosis or acquiring Hepatitis C, an endemic viral infection that leads to liver cirrhosis, recurrent abdominal infections, water retention and liver cancer.

How do you see your future? A cachec tic old man/woman lying in a bed, eyes sunken, a dark halo encircling them, a face that once glowed with optimism is now washed over by sadness and despondency. What do you think he/she values the most at this time? Probably, a moment of self-reflection, some quality time with the family, or a casual chat with friends reminiscing the good old days. Now guess: what would he/she abhor the most? People reminding him/her how impious he/she had been throughout his/her life and how he/she wasted the precious moments of youth chasing mundane success.

Avoid targeting others because of your own prejudice, and thus avoid becoming the target of such a bias when you catch a life-threatening illness

I understand we long for a sudden, non-painful death; a death with the shortest lag time and minimum suffering. But, it does not embrace most people with such kindness. We should, therefore, brace ourselves to endure prolonged discomfort after being diagnosed with one of the chronic conditions sometimes lasting up to years. Does it mean suffering reflects a kind of retribution to our previous actions? Is divine punishing us for choosing a wrong profession, acquiring a wrong talent, for painting, drawing or singing? I don’t think so. Even if for some religious concerns we consider it to be true, how can we judge fellow humans? As mini gods? Shouldn’t He, the real creator, have the authority to make that determination?

On the contrary, as soon as public figures catch illness – their weight dropping, their attractive face turning pale – a particular group of people circulates their images on social media, a culture that has grown more popular lately. These photo-shopped and vile images of the celebrities captioned with either accusatory statements or divine warnings go viral to be found in every chat group on every Facebook page and Twitter account. If these personalities did not follow the Islamic faith, then all rules of decency are cast aside as a matter of faith, their whole life is ripped apart, their professional achievement discredited. The process continues for months even – or especially after – their death to prove self-rectitude.

I remember the ‘news’ that emerged after the death of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, the greatest Pakistani musician and Qawwal. Internet had not permeated the society then, but rumours spread of the dreams in which snakes and spiders bit his tongue and face. So prevalent did those visions became that they even found a place in daily newspapers. It happened after Rajesh Khanna died too; pictures of frail Mehdi Hassan appeared ona regular basis when he fell ill; Vinod Khanna’s photograph battling a bladder cancer surfaced with similar statements; and earlier, Siri Devi met with the same level of derision. The battle to prove one’s piety, however, peaked after the death of renown theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. He suffered from a rare disease of the nervous system called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, which paralysed his body at an early age, constraining him to the wheelchair. When he died earlier this year, his unambiguous atheism provided every believer with the ammunition to strike down his services to Science, particularly to Physics. They equated his disease with God’s wrath for not believing in Him, an opportunity to discredit him.

How can we be so cruel? Are we so absorbed in ourselves that we forget to be humans? I believe instead of trying to judge others and inadvertently behave like gods, we must leave the final decision up to the creator Himself once anyone has crossed the great divide. In other words, don’t target others because of your own prejudice or hatred and thus avoid becoming the target of such a bias when you catch a life-threatening illness. Let God be God alone. He does not need our input or ‘expertise.’

The writer is a US-based freelance columnist. He tweets at @KaamranHashmi and can be reached at skamranhashmi@gmail.com

Published in Daily Times, May 26^th 2018.