Daily Times

Marriage is a significant milestone in life, deeply rooted in our religious and cultural traditions. In Pakistan, many young men face strong societal and family expectations to marry early. While marriage is a beautiful and sacred institution, it is essential to prioritize education and personal development as well. The inspiring example of the Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH), who prepared himself before being blessed to marry Hazrat Khadija (A.S.), serves as a powerful reminder for the youth to pursue their aspirations with hope and determination. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) ran her business with great success.

Many male PhD students in Pakistan often hear from family and friends that it might be time to consider marriage and take on family responsibilities. We really appreciate their advice, but many of citizens feel it’s important to focus on their education for now. After all, love and marriage should have a meaningful purpose. It’s a bit concerning to see that the divorce rate in Pakistan has been climbing recently. The young couples those lack education are facing tough times in their relationships due to financial pressures, mismatched expectations and sometimes just a lack of emotional maturity. While our elders have done an amazing job of keeping family bonds strong, but today’s young couples find it a bit difficult to maintain those long-lasting connections. One of the reasons might be the rising influence of individualism in modern life. Youth tend to prioritize personal growth, career goals and independence, which can make it more challenging to nurture the strong collective family values that keep relationships thriving. Marriage, according to Islam and some other civilizations, is the foundation of the family unit. Maintaining any relationship is definitely a balancing act, and many of youth are navigating way through these new dynamics together.

Marriage is a significant and transformative union between two individuals who should prepare themselves to fully embrace the responsibilities that come with a lifelong partnership. It is not simply about satisfying physical desires or conforming to societal expectations; rather, it is a sincere commitment to building a shared life, rich in understanding, mutual respect and emotional support. Unfortunately, many young people, influenced by family pressure or cultural norms, rush into marriage without fully considering the depth of commitment required. Later they often find themselves grappling with the difficult realities of partnership, only to realize, perhaps too late, that they were not adequately equipped for the complexities and responsibilities that this sacred bond require. Whereas, Tariq Khan, a PhD IR Scholar from Islamabad, pointed out that males should get married right after their intermediate studies, do a job, and continue higher studies and married life together.

Irfan Malik, a PhD Scholar from Lahore, said that “Marriage first.” In his opinion, getting married before or near one’s 30s is the best age for a male; any further delays are not justified. Muhammad Usama Siddiqi, a Visiting Lecturer said that “I think both things, education and marriage, go side by side. You can’t choose between a job or marriage. Similarly, a PhD can be pursued even after getting married, especially in Europe, where they treat a PhD as a job if studied on a scholarship.” In Pakistan both men and women should enter this lifelong commitment with a sense of responsibility, both religiously and socially. Don’t rely on empty promises; carefully evaluate what is truly being offered in a marriage. Compatibility is not just about emotions; it includes financial understanding, shared goals and mutual respect.

For many young men in Pakistan, particularly those under or at the age of 30, the pursuit of financial stability can be an overwhelming challenge. It’s a reality that in our society respect is often closely tied to one’s financial and professional status. This can make it especially difficult for those who may not have financial security or a strong educational background to feel valued and respected, even by their loved ones, and supporting each other in navigating these challenges really matters. Money matters a lot, but it isn’t everything. Financial stability does serve as a crucial foundation for a successful marriage. So, financial literacy should be taught early in life. When a man is in a better financial position, he can contribute to his household, provide for his family, and reduce the stress that financial instability often brings to relationships. Today, more than ever, boys and young men need counseling and support to help them embrace their responsibilities alongside their rights. Women also need to understand the challenges faced by men in these critical situations.

For educating youth aged 30 or below social activist Khuldiya Satter shared her point of view that “Prioritize education first because PhD journey fosters intellectual growth, critical thinking skills and independence. These qualities can contribute to a more mature and well-rounded individual, potentially leading to a more stable and fulfilling marriage later on.”

Currently, many young scholars take a good job or a short career break to focus on their PhD research. Pakistani male students should invest their time, energy, and savings in their education, which will yield long-term personal and professional benefits whether in securing a stable job or launching a small startup by applying theoretical knowledge in practice. In a world where knowledge and skills define success, investing in education is considered a far better preparation for marriage than rushing into it without a plan.

Moreover, we can observe that marriage should not just be about companionship, it should also be a partnership in every sense. To reduce the culture of harassment in the society a husband and wife should work together as a team, whether in professional endeavours, personal growth or community development. Ethically, young couples can make their life partner their business partner as well, fostering mutual success rather than just fulfilling societal norms.

Marriage is a significant milestone in life, and it’s essential to approach it thoughtfully rather than hastily. Involving your family and loved ones in your journey can provide valuable support, and clear communication about your goals can help to have better opportunities. Have faith that the proper person will enter your life at the appropriate time. In the meantime, it’s a great opportunity for young men to focus on personal growth, achieving financial stability and making positive contributions to their communities. By dedicating time to hard work, education and perseverance, you can lay the foundation for a secure future. When the moment for marriage arrives, you’ll be entering it with a sense of wisdom and readiness. Let’s celebrate a broader definition of success—one that prioritizes a planned future over social pressures for early marriage. This approach fosters long-term happiness and stability for both partners, creating a solid basis for a fulfilling relationship.

The writer is a PhD student in International Relations and a community developer. He can be reached at connect.wajahatali@gmail.com.