Daily Times

In the tangled web of laws and societal norms, a woman’s struggles often go unnoticed, buried under the weight of bureaucracy designed with blinders on. Imagine raising a child single-handedly, shouldering their every need – physical, emotional, and financial – only to find yourself battling a system that demands the impossible. A system that insists on the presence or consent of a man who has long abdicated his responsibilities, leaving behind nothing but silence and indifference.

Such is the plight of countless women who are forced to navigate a maze of legalities that strip them of agency while holding them accountable for everything. A mother’s love and labour are not enough; her word carries no weight unless corroborated by a father who has all but vanished. This isn’t justice – it’s cruelty cloaked in procedure.

For these women, every mundane task – renewing a passport, enrolling a child in school, seeking medical care – becomes a Herculean ordeal. The system, blind to context, demands proof of custody, a court order, or a paternal presence that ceased to exist years ago. These demands do not just inconvenience; they humiliate. They force women to justify their worth as caregivers, protectors, and parents, to a machine that was never designed for their realities.

Globally, this issue is widespread. In many countries, including some highly developed ones, legal frameworks fail to address the realities of single motherhood. According to UNICEF, there are more than 320 million single-parent households worldwide, with the vast majority led by women. Many of these households navigate systems that refuse to acknowledge their challenges, forcing mothers to meet impossible conditions to fulfil basic tasks for their children.

Research from the McKinsey Global Institute reveals that advancing gender equality could add $12 trillion to global GDP by 2025.

The statistics are staggering and sobering. In the United States alone, over 15 million single-parent families exist, with 80 percent headed by women. In regions like Sub-Saharan Africa, women make up nearly 90 percent of single-parent households, facing bureaucratic and cultural barriers daily. Meanwhile, South Asia, a region home to nearly 2 billion people, reports some of the highest levels of systemic bias against single mothers, with more than 65 percent of them citing insurmountable hurdles in accessing education and healthcare for their children.

And what of the children caught in this crossfire? They become collateral damage, their rights tangled in red tape. Their lives are disrupted, their identities questioned, and their futures jeopardized by laws that prioritize form over humanity. In punishing their mothers, these systems punish them too, reinforcing the bitter lesson that their existence is contingent on a father’s signature, even when he is absent in every way that matters.

This isn’t just a story of bureaucracy; it’s a story of betrayal. Betrayal by societies that claim to value motherhood while eroding the very foundations of a mother’s dignity. Betrayal by systems that profess fairness while perpetuating inequality. Betrayal by norms that glorify fatherhood as optional but motherhood as obligatory, demanding sacrifice without support, devotion without recognition.

But women are not merely caregivers or victims of systemic neglect. Their role in society extends far beyond the walls of their homes. Women, when empowered, have proven time and again to be agents of transformative change. Studies by the World Economic Forum show that increasing women’s participation in the workforce significantly boosts a nation’s GDP. In Rwanda, for instance, women occupy over 60 percent of parliamentary seats, driving progressive policies that benefit not just women but society as a whole.

Even in single-parent households, women do more than survive – they innovate, create, and lead. Countless stories highlight how single mothers have turned their struggles into strength, launching businesses, leading community initiatives, and raising children who go on to become leaders in their own right. These women are proof that resilience and capability are not defined by marital status or societal approval but by sheer determination and courage.

And yet, despite their immense potential, women are often reduced to a “secondary” status in societal hierarchies. They are seen as liabilities rather than assets, their contributions overshadowed by archaic notions of dependency. This mindset is not just harmful; it is profoundly wasteful. How many innovations, solutions, and leaders have been lost because women were denied the freedom to thrive? How many children have suffered because their mothers were forced to fight battles they should never have had to fight in the first place?

The hypocrisy is glaring. These same systems that demand fathers’ signatures and permissions do little to hold these men accountable when they fail to fulfil their parental duties. There are no penalties for disappearing acts, and no repercussions for financial abandonment. The burden falls squarely on the shoulders of the mothers, who are expected to pick up the pieces and carry on, no questions asked.

The issue extends far beyond bureaucratic hurdles. It spills into mental health crises, with many women and children facing extreme stress due to their circumstances. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), single mothers are nearly three times more likely to suffer from depression compared to partnered women. In the United Kingdom, studies have found that single mothers are disproportionately more likely to experience anxiety disorders due to financial strain and social isolation. In Japan, the suicide rate among single mothers remains alarmingly high, attributed to societal pressures and lack of institutional support.

Globally, there are inspiring examples of systems that prioritize the rights and well-being of women and children. Scandinavian countries like Sweden and Denmark lead the way with family-friendly policies that recognize diverse family structures. Single mothers are provided with legal and financial support, and bureaucratic processes are streamlined to ensure their ease. In New Zealand, a single parent can easily renew a child’s passport with minimal paperwork, trusting the mother’s word unless contested. These systems are built on trust, empathy, and the acknowledgement that families today are not monolithic.

Similarly, Iceland, a beacon of gender equality, has implemented laws and systems that make parenting easier, regardless of family structure. Its universal childcare policies and equitable parental leave programs ensure that single mothers can balance caregiving and careers without feeling overwhelmed or marginalized. These systems not only empower women but also foster stronger, healthier societies.

Change is possible, but it requires a radical reimagining of our priorities. It requires laws that reflect the realities of modern families, and that recognize the diversity of parental roles and responsibilities. It requires systems that support rather than stigmatize, that empower rather than oppress. And it requires a collective shift in mindset, a willingness to see women not as victims or martyrs, but as equal participants in the creation of a just and equitable society.

Yet, for all the calls for change, society remains tethered to its biases. The stone-carved ideals of womanhood – sacrifice, submission, silence – are upheld at the expense of progress. Women are expected to endure, to bend, to mould themselves into roles that serve everyone but themselves. The notion that a woman’s primary duty is to serve her family, regardless of the personal cost, remains deeply ingrained, even in the most progressive societies.

But what if society chose to harness women’s potential instead of stifling it? What if we reimagined systems that celebrated and supported their contributions? In countries where this has been attempted, the results are transformative. Research from the McKinsey Global Institute reveals that advancing gender equality could add $12 trillion to global GDP by 2025. Women are not just contributors – they are changemakers, innovators, and leaders who can propel societies into a more equitable and prosperous future.

Until then, the struggles will continue. Women will keep fighting battles they shouldn’t have to fight, their strength is both their salvation and their sentence. Children will keep paying the price for a world that refuses to see them as individuals, worthy of love and protection, regardless of their circumstances. And the cycle of injustice will go on, perpetuated by the silence of those who benefit from its existence.

In this bitter landscape, there is no justice, only survival. But in their resilience, in their refusal to be silenced, there is hope – a hope that one day, the world will learn to value humanity over hierarchy, compassion over control. Until that day comes, we must continue to speak out, to shine a light on these injustices, to demand better. For the mothers. For the children. For all of us.

The writer is a journalist, TV presenter & column writer. She can be reached via her insta account @farihaspeaks