Daily Times

The main character involved in sexually abusing and later blackmailing women was arrested by the police in Peshawar. He confessed to making obscene videos of the women and then blackmailing the victims. The most shocking aspect of the news is that he is the principal of a private school and holds a Masters degree in Islamiat.

Will this incident also be brushed under the carpet like the Kasur incident or will we see some action? We must appreciate the role of our police in Peshawar that even under immense pressure they managed to catch the culprit red-handed, along with evidence.

The growing number of cases of child abuse in a society like ours, where we have a complete code of conduct to live our lives within certain ethical and religious limits, is shocking. Is it the parental negligence or over protection? Can it be the communication barrier between the child and the parent? Is it because of the society? Is it because of the invasion of technology or its misuse? Is it over-emphasis or less emphasis on religious education?

Parenthood is the most beautiful and sacred gift of nature to an individual. But at the same time in our culture and society, it faces certain pressures like the traditional family set up; the ethical and cultural values (which were observed decades back). Although we can observe a slight change in the behaviour and interaction of the parents with their children, we come across certain cases where children are reluctant to share even the positive emotions with their parents. This could be due to some fear such as fear of overreaction. This barrier, fear, is at times the root cause when a boy or girl going through the trauma of abuse is unable to share something they want and the result is the ongoing exploitation of the poor souls.

Each individual, boy or girl, passes through natural phases while growing from a toddler to a teenage and then to adolescence which is very natural and every individual has to go through these phases. Our social fabric, cultural values and certain kinds of religious mindsets make the adults particularly the parents hesitant in sharing the natural facts of life which they are going to go through at a certain age. The biological physical changes along with psychological mood swings are being treated as a mystery as if it had never happened to the elders. It is good to bring up the children in an environment of respect and care yet certain topics remain totally prohibited and are not discussed, leaving the child in confusion and making him prone to unauthentic and inappropriate sources of knowledge.

In our society, the father is usually portrayed as source of anger and aggression, but it is important to acknowledge that the aggressive attitude of even the mother can cause behavioural problems

Over reaction to the innocent queries and response in false statements as adults such as anger and corporal punishments for different reasons create a barrier between the child and the parent. Behavioural problems among students are usually observed when extreme reactions are exhibited by either of the parent.

Any type of extreme behaviour on part of a parent can lead to different consequences like the child going into isolation, him/her getting hyper active, turning into a bully or him/her becoming an attention seeker who tries to do unusual stuff to gain attention. In our society, the father is usually portrayed as source of anger and aggression, but it is important to acknowledge that the aggressive attitude of even the mother can cause behavioural problems.

Secondly, the invasion of technology in various forms has played its own significant part. I still remember an article published a few years back in a newspaper foreseeing the results of 3G and 4G technology as a disaster for the society. The deterioration of social and moral values is an open secret and is more than one can imagine. All kinds of information is a click away no matter what subject it is. All sorts of videos with all sorts of information irrespective of their authenticity are available. Curiosity is something natural no matter what it is about; be it your environment, your world, human beings or the opposite gender; and technology is there to answer all the questions.

Education isn’t just reading, writing listening and coming home with a huge bag and home work. Real education must prepare an individual to deal with all sorts of emotional, health and hygienic conditions plus the changes to occur at any stage of life.

Psychologists say that the parents should let the teacher be the source of confidence and correct information rather than a secondary or tertiary source who can be an evil individual, a gang a group, a fake quake to get hold of the growing child. In western countries and developed states, to educate the students on these important themes is a routine and taken up as normally as it can be. We are still in transformative phase where we are yet to decide whether a teacher can talk about the gender and biological differences. There used to be particular subject for girls in public schools ie Home Economics. It used to be a blend of different themes including health hygiene, taking care of oneself in unpleasant situations. It would help the growing girls understand the biological changes, hormonal disorders, cooking, awareness about certain diseases etc. But it is now hardly seen in schools and is replaced by computer studies. Boys, however, didn’t have to study any such subject. I think schools can create certain opportunities in this regard not only to educate the students but also the parents.

Another for the growing cases of child abuse is that a hype is created whenever such cases are reported but the lengthy and complicated criminal justice system leaves the issue as a story with no end. We hardly listen to the news of a criminal being penalised in such cases, resulting in adding up to the number of such cases.

Parents need to understand the importance of their support at different stages of the child’s growth. Again, each child needs to be treated as a unique individual with specific needs. Schools can have orientation/ guidance sessions for the parents to educate them on child psychology and handling of different stages of adolescence.

Awareness and educating sessions on adolescence, puberty can be arranged in schools by senior teachers.

We must have rehabilitation and care centres for the victims so that they can be brought back to a normal life and the impacts of the trauma can be minimised on their personalities.

Media still has to play its role though many cases brought forward till date yet a follow up of the cases by media as a watch dog would keep the issue alive for quick decision making for the culprit.

Last but not the least, speedy trials and visible punishments in such cases would definitely help reduce the number of child abuse cases.

The writer has experience in the field of education and is currently working as a resource person in the development sector

Published in Daily Times, July 25^th 2017.