Daily Times

It has been a busy time since we last met. People have been writing in every day telling NGO Auntie of new NGOs they have registered after reading her advices. In Dubai, an enterprising young man has left his banking career to start the Fellowship Against Racial Tension (FART) and is currently conducting research on biogas and its impacts on social harmony. Closer to home, the young man who wrote in last week for advice on naming his NGO has taken one of the suggestions and registered Centre for Research Against Poverty (CRAP). Within days, CRAP got its first project on poverty alleviation and just two weeks later, the young man reported his first success story when he bought a plot in Defence. But enough about other people, let’s turn to your problems. NGO Auntie is back to answer your questions about how to make it big in the NGO gig!

Dear NGO Auntie, I am going to a workshop next week to do a presentation of my research/impact analysis/study on ‘The Direct/Attributable & Indirect/Incidental Socio/Psycho/Econo Impacts of Targeted Interventions by Relevant NGOs on Selected Beneficiaries. You are always telling us to “think out of the box”. How can I make my presentation out of box?

Beta, for you, I think you should focus on your delivery. Try projecting your slides onto the ceiling and make everyone lie flat on the floor. That way they won’t hurt their necks when they fall asleep during your presentation.

Dear NGO Auntie, I am sure you will agree with me that we ladies working in the development sector must take care of our appearances. We should look ethnic but stylish, especially when we go to international conferences. But now my friends on social media are saying that we should not buy our clothes from my favourite shop Khaasa Mehnga because they don’t pay their workers properly. I am shocked! I am saddened! I have to go to a workshop next week and I have nothing to wear! Where should I buy my clothes from now?

Go to Safaiyya. They haven’t been exposed yet.

Dear NGO Auntie, I love working in the NGO sector and helping people, including people of female gender. But we should not have to compromise on our principles. In my office we have a new chairman, but she is a woman. I am not a backward man. I know women are also working in offices etc now. But still, we must respect our culture. I respect my female colleagues as my sisters (except two who I wish to make my wife). But the head of the family must be male otherwise the family will get weak. And I am afraid our office will also become weak with this new female chairman. And she wants us to address her as Madam Chairwoman. I have to see it and say it!

If you are going to survive in this sector you will have to learn to manage your principles. You don’t have to call your boss Chairwoman. Just call her Cha Woman. In your mind she will be a simple tea
lady and that will make it easier for you to accept her

If you are going to survive in this sector you will have to learn to manage your principles. You don’t have to call your boss Chairwoman. Just call her Cha Woman. In your mind she will be a simple tea lady and that will make it easier for you to accept her.

Dear NGO Auntie, my NGO is working with selected factories to develop workplace policies and motivational mottos to eliminate sexual harassment of women. The factory I am working with has made a new policy to say it will no longer hire females, their new motto is No Women, No Problems, and they have fired all the ladies who worked there. How shall I report this to the donor?

Always tell the truth: sexual harassment of women in the factory has been brought down to zero.

Dear NGO Auntie, I am excited! Pakistan is at an important juncture in history. CPEC will herald a new era in relations between Pakistan and China. It is a game-changer and I think NGOs should be a major player. I am thinking of opening an NGO that will focus on CPEC related projects. Also, in honour of Pak-China friendship I want to choose a name that uses both languages like Idara Fuk (fuk means good fortune in Chinese). What do you think?

Ah! I think fuk means good fortune in many languages! But let’s not get into that. Well, dear Excited, I admire your foresightedness. We NGO people must always think ahead. But the problem with CPEC is that no one actually knows what it is, and so how will you decide what your NGO would actually do? CPEC is indeed a game-changer, and even though we don’t know the rules of that game, we all know that every game has a winner and a loser. Some people think that Pakistan will be the winner; there will be a motorway straight from Lahore to Beijing, we will have so much electricity that we will be able to keep our lights on even when we are asleep, and it will be so much easier to find pak choi at the sabzi waala. But some people think that Pakistan is bound to be the loser. They say that the Chinese will come and steal our recipes, take our jobs, take all our women, and turn us into a backyard province of the Kingdom of China. You should think about calling your NGO What The Fuk!

Well, we’re out of time again. Keep your questions coming!

The writer tweets at @FridaKhan and can be reached at fridakhan@gmail.com

Published in Daily Times, July 28^th , 2017.