Daily Times

There are some things so serious in life that you have to laugh at them. This is the case with Pakistani politics at the moment. People like Hafiz Hussain Ahmed used to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but they have gone in the trenches. Call me an eccentric, but I like those in politics who have a sense of humour.

In Zen Philosophy, if you find something boring, listen to it for two minutes. If it is still boring, listen for eight, sixteen or thirty-two minutes, and so on until you find it interesting. We do not need to go there in politics, because we have Capt Safdar. I must admit that I do not know his full name but I am fascinated by his antics. Since his appearance before the Joint Investigation Team (JIT), I have even registered a Google-alert.

Capt Safdar is an original. A lot of people mistake his opinions for thoughts. He often wishes to say something very sensible, but it does not come out well. You really have to imagine what he was like before he burst onto the national scene. This may not be easy considering many facets of his dynamic personality. Those who feel frustrated in this pursuit, must remember that people who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

Capt Safdar can be funny. He claimed complete ignorance about all aspects of the Panama case except receiving a monthly stipend of 1500SR. He also refused to accept the Supreme Court lawyer as his own, despite signing off on this earlier

Whosoever planted the idea of an army career in Capt Safdar’s mind, must have read Chanakya and Machiavelli. Both political wizards, from different eras, proposed a military career for those with big ambitions but humble origins. A Guardian Angel played his part in posting him to the Prime Minister’s office/House early in his career. What happened from there onwards is a credit only to Capt Safdar’s genius. This includes the famous dive he made out of a moving vehicle (and got injured) to save the PM and his daughter from a few innocent motorcyclists who came too close to PM’s motorcade.

Being son-in-law of a PM (and very rich man) might be enough for most — not for Capt Safdar. He got himself transferred from the Army to the Civil Service and even managed training at the Academy. His career unfortunately came to an abrupt end following exile to Saudi Arabia with the Sharif clan. One can only imagine what the Civil Service and the Army missed as a result his premature departure. Their loss must have been a gain for the ex. PM and PML-N because he brings unique knowledge from both institutions into the fray.

Not many people know that Capt Safdar is a religious authority within the family circles. We are unfortunate for not getting much exposure to that side of his personality. I still marvel how he turned the tables in a TV Talk Show by gulping several glasses of water (when in a tight corner) and accusing his opponent of turning the discourse into a Karbala. Unfortunately, the family banned him from TV appearances afterwards and we were left gasping for more. He resurfaced after his JIT appearance and declared the legal proceedings about the PM and his family a conspiracy against Nizam-e-Mustafa. He has since gone on to address public meetings and used religious slogans to charge the crowds. Apparently, he was also behind Abid Sher Ali confusing Hazrat Ali with Marhab.

Capt Safdar’s political insights are interesting. He claimed that Quaid-e-Azam would fall foul of Articles 62/63 of the constitution. Historians were getting to grips with this revelation when he opined that huge crowds at Mumtaz Qadri’s funeral were a public protest against the court verdict, and the same scenario applies to Nawaz Sharif. He had earlier likened the Supreme Court proceedings about the ex. PM to a conspiracy against the Two-Nation Theory. Most recently, he proclaimed the 12-year-old boy run over by a car in the ex. PM’s rally a “Shaheed of the movement for Pakistan”. All this is being received with a great fervour in his native Hazara, and he has been given the title of ‘Sartaj
Maryum Nawaz’.

We are all aware of Capt Safdar’s warfare credentials. The nation has also seen glimpses of his boxing skills against colleagues in the national assembly. He moves with people who take direct orders from him regarding social media and other activities. A few years ago, some of them had plans to pelt Late Governor Salman Taseer with eggs and tomatoes because he was irritating. Thankfully, this was thwarted; otherwise it would have been a great embarrassment for the Government and the Family. He has recently threatened to cut Sheikh Rashid’s throat and an FIR was lodged. We just hope this was a bad joke.

Capt Safdar can be funny. He claimed complete ignorance about all aspects of the Panama case except receiving a monthly stipend of 1500SR. He also refused to accept the Supreme Court lawyer as his own, despite signing for it earlier. My fear is that, similar to military/civil service career, he is heading for a premature end to his politics. If this happens, politics would be boring and we would think it is our fault.

The writer is a Consultant Psychiatrist & Visiting Professor based in London. He tweets @AamerSarfraz

Published in Daily Times, August 17^th 2017.