Beyond Love and Tradition: Consensual Marriage

Author: Laiba Khalid

Marriage is a legally recognized and socially accepted partnership governed by laws, norms, conventions, beliefs, and attitudes that specify the partners’ rights and obligations. It is a bond formed based on love, respect, and mutual consent. The awful reality of forced marriages, in which people are pushed into marriages against their choice, stands in sharp contrast to this ideal.

The act of marrying someone without their complete and free consent, or forced marriage, is still an issue with severe consequences. In addition to being a basic violation of people’s right to choose their own destiny, forced marriage is in direct opposition to the core principles of the major religions in the world. Respect, individual agency, and mutual consent are essential to a healthy marriage. While certain societies may accept arranged weddings, the important distinction is that they respect the individual’s right to refuse.

Marriage has to be a “Consensual Marriage” rather than a love marriage or an arranged marriage. Consensual marriage-where the individuals involved willingly choose each other as life partners not only based on romantic affection, but also on an expanded spectrum of feelings, including friendship, compatibility, mindset, and shared values. Consensual marriage also fosters the dynamic nature of relationships and the necessity of compromise and honest communication. Mutual acceptance and understanding, respect for each other’s opinions and personalities, serve as the cornerstones of these marriages, and both partners are dedicated to building and improving their relationship. Consensual marriage allows people to choose their life partners based on their preferences and aspirations, in contrast to love marriages, where strong emotions can overpower rational decision-making, and arranged marriages, where external factors frequently dictate partner selection.

Forced marriage reinforces cycles of cruelty and oppression and is a major violation of both religious and human rights.

Unfortunately, forced marriage is frequently justified by destructive cultural customs and misinterpretations of religious teachings. Islamic law, Sharia, clearly forbids forced marriage and emphasizes free will. The Quran clearly says, “O believers! It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will or mistreat them (Surah Nisa, verse 19). We get this lesson from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) Haddith and Sunnah: “A virgin girl must be consulted about her marriage. Her consent must be obtained” (Al-Hadith). This hadith establishes the requirement of the bride’s consent for a valid marriage. Also, “A woman came to the Prophet and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet allowed her to choose.” Furthermore, he sets the example for consensual marriage by asking her dear daughter Fatima (RA?) for the proposal of Hazrat Ali (RA?). Moreover, the teachings of Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism, Hinduism, and Christianity all strongly turn down forced marriage and place significant importance on respecting each person’s free will.

People frequently use beliefs, family honor, or cultural traditions as an excuse to emotionally blackmail, shame, or humiliate victims into obedience. Certain people find it difficult to reject marriage pressure because of their financial reliance, since they worry about losing their support. Victims may experience threats of violence or social isolation, which limits their alternatives. Families in some societies could be forced to accept a marriage proposal from their children because they fear social rejection or face social pressure if they reject it. The male or female is threatened and cursed to say yes.

Forced marriage has extensive and harmful repercussions: consent violations frequently lead to psychological damage that lasts a lifetime, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Forced marriage frequently results in obstacles to one’s ambitions for a job and education. The chance of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and even physical harm, such as honor killings, is considerably higher in forced marriages.

A multifaceted approach is needed to address the issue. Awareness programs in colleges, universities, and communities can enable people to recognize their rights and question damaging cultural practices. Strict enforcement of laws that forbid forced marriage is essential to discouraging offenders and giving victims recourse to justice. To help victims reconstruct their lives, extensive support services must be provided. These services should include secure housing, counseling, and legal assistance. It is essential to interact with religious leaders and community leaders to advance knowledge of authentic religious beliefs and motivate them to take an active part in eradicating detrimental customs. Everyone is free to follow their own path without interference or exploitation. In essence, forced marriage reinforces cycles of cruelty and oppression and is a major violation of both religious and human rights. By realizing the effects from the point of view of religions and civilizations, we can try to establish a society in which each person is free to select their own course in life, including who they marry.

The writer is a freelance columnist.

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