Daily Times

We have all heard that bullying leads to death mainly by suicide. We have seen the instances where even cyber-bullying has led to suicides. And now we have two new entrants Sarahah and the Blue Whale “game” in the world of cyber-bullying and no matter how cynical the people are about their potential to inflict physical and/or psychological harm to victims, they are still making buzz as something people should be scared of.

For those who do not understand cyber-bullying, this will help. Ever faced someone on social media platforms an individual who actively suppressed your voice and threatened you? Made you retreat from an argument or even completely disappear from the particular conversation group or even the platform? Or maybe a creep from a hookup app who recognised you and blackmailed you into doing things you didn’t want to do? One must also understand that bullying has various degrees and even the ones that may appear less severe than the ones discussed above shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Cyber bullies, like offline-bullies can really get to people. From making someone feel ashamed of who they are to actually inciting someone to commit suicide, there’s no stopping once a bully is able to get to someone.

This is even more dangerous for people facing psychological struggles such as anxiety and depression. The most vulnerable ones are those belonging to social groups struggling for acceptance in a society. Such as someone belonging to a gender, sexual orientation, ethnic or religious minority.

While Sarahah is an “honesty” app built by a Saudi developer where people can give anonymously send “feedback” to an individual or an organisation, the Blue Whale “game” is played through a communication channel where a challenger anonymously reaches their target and incites them to complete a series of challenges involving self-harm and the final stage of which is to commit suicide.

It might be an exaggeration to compare Sarahah with the Blue Whale “game” but even the former becomes an enabler in cyber-bullying. Using this platform, the bully can in the name of “feedback” anonymously bully an individual. This is problematic because this platform can be used to get to people, make them feel worthless, thus becoming an enabler in cyber-bullying.

Screenshots of some of the mean messages posted online

“I have very limited information at the moment but it seems to have had serious consequences and that seems like enough reason to not consider it as something harmless. Sarahah that is,” says Rabiya Mumtaz, a Lahore-based psychologist. “Bullying in any form can have serious consequences and in the case of it being anonymous, the bully does have the space to be bolder and therefore stronger. The consequences are an unsafe environment – anyone could be a victim.”

There are a lot of enablers of the cyber-bullying. There are social media platforms, there are apps that exist now and there will be such apps in future. One of the important solutions to protect victims is to address the cyber-bullying.

“I think people who bully and are abusive will use whatever avenues they can find,” says London based psychotherapist Ronete Cohen. “Now that we have the Internet, you can reach more people and do so anonymously. Apps may exist for other – possibly positive – purposes. Games like Blue Whale, if it does indeed exist in the way it’s described (things like this often become myths that end up a lot larger than anything in real life), do not cause suicide or self-harm. I suspect it’s more likely that young people who are already self-harming or suicidal go looking for online communities where they find the kind of support and empathy coming from peers with similar world views. This sometimes ends up encouraging them and reinforcing their behaviour – similar online communities have been active for years with groups for people with eating disorders.”

Looking at the response on media, both online and the mainstream ones, many people see it as a farce and hard to believe that someone can commit suicide by being incited or bullied into it. Hence the insensitive memes and vines. This is hardly a laughing matter.

Speaking about “solution”, Ronete added “there’s no point banning anything. All you’re likely to achieve is pushing things even further underground and creating more alternative versions. The fact that these things exist shows how little real support and understanding exist for young people in need. This is like the online version of what we call “self-medicating”: if there’s no real and effective help, those who need it will reach for the next best thing, even if it also happens to be harmful, because it does alleviate something – in this case their loneliness and alienation, for instance.”

“There should be more support services for young people who are struggling with mental health issues. This could take several forms. One could be public education that makes it more acceptable to talk about these issues openly (the ridiculing responses to these phenomena show what a stigma is attached to them and how callous people can be to those suffering – they’re actually being crueller than the games). There could be places where people could reach out to get help: phone lines, support groups, online communities that are created and supervised by young people and mental health professionals working together,” she went on to say.

“Sometimes we mean well but end up fighting things that are either all people in need have, or end up being distracted from the real battle we need to be fighting.”

We can help by helping the victims stand up to the bullies. We can help by accepting the victims for who they are. We can help the victims by taking them seriously when they approach us for help. As for those facing the bullies, they can consider this:

• Disconnect: Instead of taking a cyber-bully seriously, just disconnect and get as far away from them as possible. If they are on Sarahah, uninstall it. If they are communicating with you using another messaging app such as WhatsApp, block them and uninstall if they keep approaching using different numbers.
• Seek help from friends. Preferably someone you can trust and confine in.
• Involve authorities where necessary. FIA runs a cyber-crime wing and actively responds to the complaints about cyber-harassment and bullying.
• Seek psychological help. There’s nothing to be ashamed about it. Mental health issues are as real as anything else and it’s perfectly okay to seek help. Don’t let someone make it a stigma for you because even that would be caving in to bullying.