Daily Times

London: “I knew he was going to die soon so I made sure I told him how much I loved him every time we spoke on the phone,” says Nicola Benyahia, her voice wavering as she recalls her last telephonic conversation with her son before he was killed in a coalition drone strike in Raqqa.

Her son Rasheed Benyahia was 19 years old when he left home in Birmingham, United Kingdom, in 2015 to join the ISIL in Syria. He died 6 months later.

Rasheed is among the 850 supporters and fighters that have travelled from the U.K to join ISIL and other terrorist outfits since the inception of Syria’s conflict in 2011, according to New York-based Soufan Group that provides strategic security to governments and multi-national organizations.

Nicola Benyahia, a care manger and a counselor, recalls that on the day Rasheed left initially she and her family didn’t suspect anything thinking that he may have gotten busy somewhere. But when he didn’t respond to calls and messages, the family got worried and started contacting the police, hospitals, friends and relatives.

Two days later, the police showed them CCTV footage from the airport of a man boarding a plane to Turkey. “I knew it was him. I was so angry – how could he do that to us?”

Three days later, a message arrived from Rasheed, telling the family that he was ‘safe and in good hands’. It read, “Please know I will never put anyone through this if I didn’t know the reward. I ask Allah to protect you and reward you with the highest paradise.”

The family did not hear from Rasheed again for over two months, until he called to confirm their worse fear. He was in Syria. “As soon as I knew where he was, I knew I had lost him and that I was never going to see him again,” Mrs Benyahia says.

Rasheed had travelled to Raqqa, the ISIL strong hold; he had undergone compulsory training with the terror group and was preparing for battle against Syrian rebels and forces.

“There is nothing here to help you cope with such a situation. No special groups or person to speak to,” she says. The police referred her to a women’s support group. They also provided access to a gym and sauna – but she knew it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t allowed to speak about Rasheed to anyone outside her family.

Two years on, Mrs Benyahia is still coming to terms with Rasheed’s death.

Rasheed was born on April 26th, 1996, in Wales. His birth name was Rasheed Salah Benyahia. He was the fifth child of Mrs Benyahia and her husband, an Algerian decent Muslim. All their other children were girls.

Mrs Benyahia says she had herself been raised as an Anglican but after a difficult childhood she converted to Islam in her teens. Her new faith had given her peace, she says.

Recalling Rasheed’s childhood, she says he was an extrovert, an enthusiast for outdoor sports and ‘loving as well as mischievous’.

But his behaviour and personality changed in days leading up to his departure. “It was a gradual process,” Mrs Benyahia says.

In 2014, she recalls, Rasheed became more concerned about questions on religion, politics and his appearance. He told the family he didn’t want to attend the regular mosque – instead he said he wanted to visit a different mosque – with a younger conservative crowd. He also started abstaining from spending time with family – something he had always relished.

With hindsight, Mrs Benyahia now vividly recalls the influence late night Islamic study circles may have had on his son’s behaviour. She remembers that he had once asked her to shorten the hem on his trousers. Although she didn’t approve of the new style of trouser because it resembled a more religious observance, she had reluctantly agreed to the alteration to avoid conflict.

Just before his departure, Mrs. Benyahia noticed, Rasheed became more jovial and calm and started spending time with old friends. In January 2015, Rasheed bought his mother a diamond necklace and presented it with a note reading, “Mama- no matter how much gold and how many precious stones are used, it’s never enough to show how precious you are to me.” She thinks this was his goodbye present. “At that point he had made the decision to go,” she says.

After Mrs. Benyahia went public with her story, people seeking help about radicalisation started contacting her – she realised there was still very little support for such people in the U.K.

A year ago she established Families for Life, an organization that offers a confidential telephone support service to anyone concerned about radicalisation. Mrs Benyahia hopes that her initiative will help the U.K. Muslim community.

However, she is concerned that with the sharp rise in terror attacks and hate crimes, many British Muslims are fearful and are reluctant to speak publicly about their problems. “People are in denial, they don’t want to address the issue – even a discussion in our Muslim communities is now taboo,” Mrs Benyahia says.

The writer is Daily Times’ foreign correspondent based in London.

Published in Daily Times, September 22^nd 2017.