Daily Times

The respite associated with sexist language, objectification of women in their varied portrayals, free and ‘unfair’ use of male privileges, rape, acid attacks, dowry violence, son preference, incest, killing in the name of ‘honour’, human trafficking, bullying and harassment at work places of (even) women in leadership roles, under-representation of women in development and many other manifestations of gender-based violence are alarming contemporary realities.

The statements like “I am a happily married man who is obedient to his lovely wife” or “What are you talking about, violence? It doesn’t happen here as we men respect our mothers, daughters and sisters” often made by well dressed men, with a grin, in different seminars, workshops etc. on women and rights related issues not only sound soothing, but effectively dilutes the seriousness of the ongoing discourse.

Although the deafening silence and denial of the exclusionary policies and abusive practices against women and girls have broken down to a certain point in most of the countries, misogyny continues to cultivate in nearly all societies irrespective of their literacy prevalence, economic progress and overall freedom.

The media, music and management industries are full of men who have enough resources and energy to disparage and discriminate against women. Professor Berit Brogaard, at the University of Miami, raised a simple question in one of her research works Romantic Love (2015); is misogyny simply hatred toward women?” and found out that the answer is a loud and clear: no. A misogynist is not simply a person who hates women, it’s a person who does, or would, hate women who are not subordinate, women with power and status, women who can stand up for themselves and make their own decisions.

There are misogynist women, too, who are regrettable sufferers of internalised sexism. The latter is defined as the involuntary belief by girls and women that the lies, stereotypes and myths about feminity that are delivered to everyone in a sexist society are indeed true

In 2012, following the rousing response of the first woman Australian Premier Ms Julia Gillard to the opposition leader for his repeated use of sexist language, in her speech, viewed by millions of people worldwide, Prof. Alison L. Booth, an Australian labour economist and novelist, observed that Australia’s Macquarie Dictionary updated its definition of the word ‘misogyny’, deciding that a modern understanding of this word would indeed imply ‘entrenched prejudice against women’ as well as, or instead of, the old definition of pathological hatred of them.

There are misogynist women too who are regrettable sufferers of internalised sexism. The latter is defined as the involuntary belief by girls and women that the lies, stereotypes and myths about girls and women that are delivered to everyone in a sexist society are indeed true.

Many women like myself who have been enduring burdens of child bearing and rearing (that multiplies when one is a single parent and immense stigma is added when one is single from other pathways instead of being a widow), unpaid labour at home and stressful and exploiting paid labour in formal economy must have seen women pitching against women; not ready to work for a woman on the pretext of their being difficult, psychotic, jealous etc. They must have also witnessed women not supporting other women, actively practicing ‘victim bashing’ and openly siding with powerful men in different case scenarios. Experiencing rejection of self as an individual, disbelief in one own abilities and failing to examine oneself as a human being and a woman and not a mother, sister or daughter, are frequent private thoughts of many apparently emancipated women.

The challenges of misogyny, gender biases and internalised sexism are too many and multi-faceted. It seems that even today fundamental questions identified by Dorothy Sayers (one of the first women to graduate from Oxford) in her publication is relevant. It was: “Are Women Human?”

None other than one of most accomplished and brilliant women of present-day times Ms Sheryl Kara Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook and founder of Leanin.org, has taken notice of misogyny and declared that the more powerful a woman is, the less she is liked. She adds that, “For men, likeability and success is correlated. As they get more successful, more powerful, they’re better liked.” Sandberg has repeatedly spoken out about sexism in the workplace where a powerful man is called ‘confident’ but a similar woman is called ‘bossy’.

What (sensitised) women, men and transgender can do? The inevitable action to be taken is to review our own description and interpretation of self images, challenge the ingrained prejudices and prepare ourselves for a change, meaning stepping out of the comfort zones as there is always a convenience in sticking to the subordination and popular wisdom.

Tail piece: The issues of Tran misogyny are too close to my heart and are deliberately excluded here for space constraints as they need to be understood in greater details.

The writer is a gender expert, researcher, activist and a free thinker. She can be reached at dr.r.perveen@gmail.com

Published in Daily Times, October 9^th 2017.