Daily Times

A-list actor Mahira Khan opened up on her battle with manic depression for the first time; said she has been on anti-depressants for the last six years.

In a new interview with former supermodel and now entrepreneur Frieha Altaf, on her podcast ‘FWhy’, Mahira Khan tearfully spoke about being diagnosed with manic depression (bipolar disorder), which was further triggered after the backlash on her Bollywood debut ‘Raees’ opposite Shahrukh Khan and artist’s ban from India.

“I ended up in a psychiatrist’s office and she said, ‘We’ll talk about everything later, but I need you to know that you have manic depression’,” she recalled the moment.

Khan continued, “This is the first time I’m saying that, I don’t know if I should. It’s been six-seven years; I’ve been on anti-depressants. I tried leaving them in the middle, and I went into a very, very dark space.”

Though she considered herself a ‘very hopeful person’, Khan said that she understood what she was ‘going through’ couldn’t be addressed with prayers, or spending time with friends “Yes, everyone has sad times and happy times and success and failure, but clinical depression is real,” she noted, adding a lot of her illness had to do with genetics.

‘Aik Hai Nigar’ actor shared that she even tried to quit her medication, but things went worse and she had to resume it. “Last year, it was bad, I was in bed… I remember, very well, that I couldn’t even get up from my bed to go to the bathroom. I was that bad, it was that dark. I remember praying, ‘I promise you Allah, if you show me even this much hope or light, I will take it and I will run with it.’ And when he did, and when I went back on my medicines, I woke up feeling like, ‘Oh my god, I feel like I can smile, feel lighter’,” she explained.

“Even in my darkest, worst moments, I never project it. It’s all inside me, mere andar tabahi mach rahi hai (there would be a storm inside me), but… It’s been a journey.”