Poison spitting spiders: our televangelists

Author: Mehboob Qadir

High priests of religious dogma
and pleaders of sensible humanitarianism have always differed on how to deal with dissent and default in society. This has been an eternal and ongoing tussle between the two. Dogma and its hard crusted practitioners have invariably shown a tendency to apply their largely punitive strictures with a singular lack of care and regardless of the pain it may inflict whereas rational, sensible humanists have always pleaded for compassion, empathy and understanding of hardships and suffering.

This is how it, more or less, began in most religions. With the passage of time, as their grip over the captive followers grew tighter and wealth in their coffers piled up, these high priests graduated into self-preserving, double speaking hypocrites. They could twist their edicts to suit the status of the customer with great skill and well-polished finesse. On the other side of this unequal equation, the humanists continued to walk the same rocky path just as they had started off the first day, once in a while becoming the butt of the priests’ ire and being persecuted for lack of faith or heresy.

Mullahs are no exception, despite their hollow claims and howling speeches. Exercise of power over the lives of the caged faithful without the responsibility for the consequences of their edicts is their speciality and a favourite preoccupation. In their twisted logic, the justification for such heartlessness lies in the divine authority, albeit as interpreted by them. The other serious deformity is their complete lack of rational interpretation of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) in its historical and contemporary perspective. This discussion cannot be opened as they had shut the doors of enquiry upon themselves 700 years ago. This sorry scheme of things entire has often resulted in comic situations, but more than that in tragic consequences for our society.

Historically there has always been a conflict between the thoroughly soaked, faith-coated mullah and the empathetic, soft practitioner of faith. Mostly the spiteful mullah won but lasting victory always went to the liberal souls. The stories of Mansûr al-Hallâj, Shah Shams Tabriz, Baba Bulleh Shah and Madho Lal Hussain are proof that these great visionary men were persecuted by the ferocious mullahs of the time. Mansûr al-Hallâj was even executed. But their message of peace, solace and humanity spread. They are revered to this day, even after hundreds of years of their death. But no one remembers the unforgiving mullahs who so mercilessly persecuted them. The lesson is clear; it is not the remorseless edict of the mullah but the soulful message of the visionary that lasts.

Into this dead sea of malice and misery, a new breed of mullahs has surfaced. These are the televangelist maulanas of our electronic media. This specie is suave, fashion savvy, highly media conscious and perfect play actors. The stages they set can beat the Oscar Awards saga hands down any time. They are, however, presented in the typically traditional mould with robes and rosaries all neatly in place, in order not to startle the unsuspecting audience. Their TV performances look remarkably real but pathetically self-serving and tainted. The worry is that because of the vast outreach and real time interactivity, i.e. cell/tele calls, texting and e-mails, etc, their influence is disproportionately greater. Therefore, their ability to induce tainted or archaic notions into our religious practices is that much more fearsome. Except a few and far between noble exceptions, all of these have the capacity to inject their dark dogma into their prey with fearful precision and deadly effect. Mullah Fazlullah had drugged Swatis with his sick speeches using only a rudimentary radio transmitter; one can imagine what TV can do. Our commercial and official TV channels need to be held accountable one day for the enormous confusion in matters of faith they helped cause by letting these hate-mongers out onto their viewers.

There is this pop singer turned fervent preacher who, with all his looks of a new convert and projected zeal of a servant of faith, is trying to promote ‘halal vaccine’ by a medicines company, possibly for a hefty sum in his account. There could be nothing more ridiculous than this sick idea and more nauseating a performance after years of (sham) religiousness. On yet another channel we have a fairly well watched religious programme going, thanks to the colourful personality of the gifted host who can sing and preach within seconds of each other with perfect ease. On that channel one day a soft-spoken rotund maulana took no time to fall from grace while responding to a childless wife’s call, distressed by her husband’s intention to go for a second marriage. It appeared a real agony for her after years of marriage. Without blinking even once, this leader of the faith went to great diplomatic and religious lengths to convince the poor soul to let her husband marry again. To add insult to injury, he even suggested to her to help her husband select a suitable new bride. Utterly preposterous!

This was one of the most pathetic performances one has ever seen. Instead one had ardently expected him to counsel her husband to be reasonable and caring enough not to destroy the companionship of years for the remote hope of a child from another wife. He did not even ask if needful medical tests were done to determine deficiency and any treatment done, that modern science had the ability to treat just such a condition or present alternatives. No, he was not moved by the desperate cry of pain raised by that woman; the humanity of the appeal. He was more content with imperiously slapping on her, yet again, the ‘inviolable’ divinity of the multiple marriages allowed to men.

Sorrowfully, it is the likes of these people who in collusion with our TV channels have picked up an additional whip, entered our living rooms and are lashing the captive faithful pitilessly. Our faith is already badly mauled by their brutal brethren out in the street and is gasping for life. We need to be spared further torment. Their endless sermons and awfully circular reasoning that always tends to confirm and secure their own authority over our lives are oppressive. We have been deprived of our natural goodness towards others and we have stopped seeing people from differing faiths as human beings. Slowly we are being converted into faith-propelled, hate-filled zombies ready to pounce upon those who do not see what these mullahs have told us to see. We are being led blindfolded to the precipice of baseness and destruction. Please allow us to be simple practicing Muslims, just decent caring human beings. Leave us alone in our homes and let us live. We have had enough.

“Myself when young did eagerly frequent doctor and saint, and heard great argument about it and about: but evermore came out by the same door as in I went” — Omar Khayyam.

The writer is a retired brigadier of the Pakistan Army. He can be reached at clay.potter@hotmail.com

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