I refuse to “butter the toast”

Author: By Dr Irfan Zafar

Shoaib Akhtar, nicknamed ‘the Rawalpindi Express’, is a former Pakistani right arm fast bowler who is regarded as the fastest bowler in the history of cricket — bowling at a speed of 161.3 km/h (100.2 mph). Controversially Yours: An Autobiography has been written by him after his retirement from international cricket, and is a true reflection of his cricketing career, one plagued by injuries, controversies and accusations of having a poor attitude.

He turns back the clock in this autobiography to reflect the inside story of Pakistani cricket, the strange ways of the cricket board, hierarchies, manipulations and the magnificence of the game itself. The book depicts Akhtar’s journey from an economically deprived sickly childhood to his becoming a celebrity. He was born into modest circumstances as his family struggled with money, sometimes even going hungry. There are many endearing accounts of his college days when he drove a motorbike through the principal’s office and got suspended once for playing cricket in front of the girls’ building.

The book is filled with controversial revelations and accusations against IPL Commissioner Lalit Modi and Shahrukh Khan, portraying them as cheats who swindled him out of his fair share of the IPL money. “Shahrukh and I talked about my not being happy with the money settled on me. Shahrukh and Modi got me to agree. I should have never listened to Modi and Shahrukh.” Others falling prey to his ruthless deliveries include Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid. “I think players like Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid were not exactly match-winners to start with, nor did they know the art of finishing the game.” He further goes on to undermine the brilliance of Sachin by indirectly castigating him as a coward. “I bowled (Sachin) a particularly fast ball, which he, to my amazement, did not even touch. He walked away! That was the first time I saw him walk away from me — that, too, on the slow track in Faisalabad.” While praising legendary cricketers, Shoaib does not let go of the opportunity to compare them with Tendulkar: “Vivian Richards, Ricky Ponting, Brian Lara and the likes of them are great batsmen who dominated with the bat and were truly match-winners. Initially, when I bowled against Sachin, I found these qualities missing.”

He does not even spare his own contemporaries and fellow cricketers, accusing Wasim Akram of doing all he could to end his and Waqar Younis’s careers with his unprofessional, selfish behaviour and dirty politics. At one point, he labels former captain Shoaib Malik as the stooge of the Pakistan Cricket Board: “Shoaib Malik does not deserve to be captain and was made captain because he was a stooge of the PCB Chief Naseem Ashraf.” Akhtar does not even spare legendary cricketer Javed Miandad. His disclosures about certain Pakistani cricketers writing love letters in their blood, drinking alcohol, attempting suicide and using pills to ward off depression are just a few examples of his outrageous ‘spells’. While doing this, his own self-indulgent nature comes across loudly with his love for money and women.

Akhtar very bravely and truthfully has admitted to tampering with the ball and cites examples of how he doctored the ball on different occasions. Akhtar has revealed that all Pakistani fast bowlers have indulged in ball tampering. However, he feels that it should be legalised as everyone does it: “No team is innocent and virtually every fast bowler does it. That is the only way to survive because the wickets are so slow.”

Throughout the book, Shoaib confronts his bad boy image head-on, accusing the media of falsely judging him, at one point even labeling him as a rapist. He writes, “I thank Allah that I was not part of the World Cup team (when Bob Woolmer died), otherwise I am sure the media would have charged me with murder — charged, not accused.” He refers to himself as a man who refuses to “butter the toast” of those in power.

Shoaib sells the ‘drama’ by portraying himself to be refreshingly honest. The book’s tone is sometimes conversational and sometimes argumentative. The autobiography puts Akhtar’s career in the context of the history of cricket, the tussle between bowlers and batsmen, the institutions controlling it and the battle of wits and clout on the pitch. The overall package is quite an enjoyable one.

The reviewer is a social activist. He can be reached at drirfanzafar@gmail.com

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